Louis' POV
My whole body explodes in fireworks. Tingles travel up and down my limbs and I feel like this is a dream. But it's definately not a dream, this is real.
My hand goes up to the back of Niall's neck, pulling him closer to me. His hand grips my back, fingers curling against my shirt.
The kiss is slow, gentle. It's almost as if time has frozen around us, and it's only Niall and I. Our lips move together with uncertainty, caution. They mold together in a perfect fit and I become addicted to the taste of him.
He nips my lips harder, causing a moan to escape from my throat. I feel him smile and his hands tug against my shirt. They slip underneath and the cool, timid touch of his hands causes me to shiver.
I pull us closer so our bodies are pressed up against each other.
A little nagging voice in the back of my head says this is wrong. I should stop. Niall's just my friend. I'm not even gay!
"Louis," he mumbles against my lips. My hands trail a bit lower down his back and he gasps.
I place my hands to his waist, desperate to feel his touch, when the door swings open.
"Niall, I was wonde-" Maura stops short as she takes in the position we're frozen in.
"Oh, dear. I'm so terribly sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I'll just be leaving...I didn't even know...? You two? Niall? This is... Oh, I'll just- bye," she rambles. She turns but Niall catches her by the wrist.
"Wait, mum, I can explain," I hear the desperation in his voice.
She looks unsure. But nods her head and walks away, Niall following her. I sink down onto the toilet seat and try to process what just happened.
This isn't good. Not good in the slightest. We just kind of spur of the moment kissed, I wasn't even entirely sure of what was happening. He was hurt and probably tired from getting burned. I was just being nice and helping him bandage it... I don't know what happened. And then to make matters worse, Maura just had to walk in on us. Oh my gosh, my life is ruined. My life is ruined.
I run a hand through my hair, not caring that I messed it up. One thing I know for sure, I really messed things up this time...
Niall's POV
I lead mum into my bedroom and gently shut the door behind us. I flick the lock and turn to face her. She is sitting on the edge of my bed, patiently waiting for me.
"Mum..." my voice comes out shaky and unsteady.
I don't know where to begin explaining so I just stand there like a deer caught in headlights.
"Start from the beginning, babe," she says in a caring tone.
I take a deep breath and begin, "Well, i think I've been having these wierd feelings for Louis lately. I don't know what or why and it makes no sense, but there's something about him that makes me feel different...special."
She nods her head so I continue. "The other day, he took me out bowling and we spent the whole day together and it was wonderful. He was so nice and I felt like he really cared about me. But I got sunburned by the time we were home so he helped me put on aloe to help. And I don't know why I did it, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I leaned into kiss him."
"So you wanted to kiss him?" Mum asks.
I nod. "It just felt so right at the time."
I run a hand through my hair, messing it up. "But he backed away and left. I knew I shouldn't have even tried. I knew it. But I did..."
I zone out remembering that incident. I sigh and continue. "He acted like it never even happened though, which I guess was good. Then we were playing tag at the park and we almost kissed again after he tackled me."
I keep pacing around the room. Back and forth. Back and forth. "And that night he had a headache. I think it was from being confused and stressed about all this so I felt really bad because it was my fault. So, I made him tea just the way he likes it, but when I brought it up to him, he asked me to sleep with him. And I couldn't say no, so I climbed in and it felt really nice. It felt so normal. So right. And one night he had a nightmare, and I calmed him down. Then there was a thunder storm, and Louis is terrified of them for some reason, and you know why I'm so confused?" I'm basically screaming out my frustration at this point. "Because Louis totally ignored me the whole storm, Harry was the one who protected him and Harry was the one he went to first. Not me. He led me on, he made me think that maybe, somewhere, he felt something for me too."
"I'm just so confused," my voice cracks and I break down. Tears leak from my eyes, and my breath hitches on sobs. My hand grips a tuft of my hair, threatening to pull it out.
"Come here, baby," Mum motions me over. I walk over and sink onto the mattress beside her, collapsing into her side. She hugs my shaking body tight in her protecting arms. I feel safe in her grip. But everything else is so messed up.
"Want to know what I think?" She asks softly against my hair.
I shrug, still sobbing.
She takes that as a yes. "I think you're going through a really confusing time, you aren't sure of your feelings for Louis, but there's definitely something there. Am I right?"
I nod, "B-but he doesn't f-feel the same way! He thinks we're just friends!"
"I wouldn't be so sure of that. What about what I just walked in on? That didn't seem like just friends."
I realize that she's exactly right. A glimmer of hope sparks in my chest and I whipe my eyes.
But then it burns out. "B-but that means I'm gay! I'm not gay! I can't be gay, mum!" I start crying all over again, but worse at this new realization.
"And why can't you, Niall?"
I look at the ground as tears pour down my cheeks.
"Ni?" She tips my chin up to look at her.
"Why can't you be gay?" She repeats.
I shrug. "I don't know. I just-" I don't say what I think. I can't because I'll be shunned, people will hate me, they'll be scared of me. I'll be different and people won't except me. Louis will hate me, he'll be embarrased to be with me and I'll loose him. My family won't like me. Our fans wont like me. Everyone will leave me.
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with it Niall. I won't hate you. Greg won't hate you. Your fans will accept it and your bandmates will, too."
"O-ok, but-"
"No buts. Everything will be fine."
"How do y-you know?"
"A mother always knows," she smiles and whipes my tears with her thumb. My stomach suddenly growls. She chuckles at me.
"Go wash up, and then we'll have that big breakfast you and Lou cooked."
I nod and get up off the bed. She does as well and I hug her again.
"Thanks, Mum."
"Anything for my baby boy."
I pull away and beg, "Please don't tell anyone. I'm not ready for anyone to know. I'm still so confused."
"Your secret's safe with me." She smiles and I trust her like I have my whole life.
I smile through my tears and nod. Then she turns and leaves, shutting the door and leaving me to recover.
I head into the bathroom and splash some cool water onto my face. I look into the mirror and freeze, staring at the stranger.
He's got blonde hair, like mine. His eyes are light blue, irritated from crying. His face is young, innocent. He hides a secret. The boy in the mirror is the new me. And this boy likes boys.
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Author's note!
Sorrrrrrry for the long wait! I've been really busy with school stuff but now I'm on spring break so I'll have some time to write! I really like the ending of this chapter, with Niall excepting that he's gay. And I just want to say that I support gay rights and think that love is equal. Soooo... Vote, comment, enjoy, whatever!
