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Newt x reader. (angst)

You stared out at the boy you once loved blue veins taking over his body as he slowly lost his sanity. Newt and Thomas fighting rolling over the other, they were in a fight that neither wanted to win. The gun had fallen from Newts grasp. You know what was going to, if you didn't kill him. Newt would kill Thomas. You picked up the gun tears streaming down your face. Newt was on top now, both boys turned to look at you. Thomas shook his head telling you not to, you looked away from him to see of you could find any once of Newt left in his own body. Sadly you couldn't find any. No matter how much you wanted him to come back, he wouldn't. 'He wasn't coming back' you reminded yourself. You raised the gun pointing it straight at his head, and in one moment, the love of your life was gone, gone. Your knees dropped. Pain plunged through your body. You didn't try to hold back the tears anymore. Thomas was holding Newt's body "Why! Why him! Why Newt!" Thomas yelled out toward the world. You opened your eyes only to see the heart breaking seen. You zoned out. And when you came back to the real world Thomas was gone and there stood Brenda, Minho and the other gladers. Gally walked over to you seeing that you were in clear shock. He sat down next to you pulling the gun out of your hand and setting it on the cold ground. Pulling you into a tight hug. "It's okay, your going to be okay, Y/N" he told you and that's when you broke. Tears running down your face and onto gally's shirt. He was the only one who new what it felt, to kill someone who you cared about. He killed Chuck and you-you killed Newt. That's when you realized this is what it felt like, "How do you do it?" You asked "I don't. All I do is keep surviving and hoping it gets better. But It does I promise" he told you letting you pull yourself away from him. "Come on let's go find Thomas" Fry said helping you and Gally from the ground.

Two months later
Gally was right. It hurts still but it's better. You still get flashbacks and so does Thomas. And all of you get nightmares. You and Gally have gotten incredibly close maybe he can be your next.