Wish (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Boyfriend

Sarah was sitting in the kitchen reading an article on her tablet when she heard the door close and Nick calling out "I'm home!"

When he came in, she looked up, beaming when she saw his face. He looked so cheery. "You look very smiley. Did you have a good day?"

He stopped, thinking about it, his smile widening. "Yeah. Yeah, it was really good."

Nick went to the kettle to make a cup of tea, then brought his mug over to the table and sat down next to her. "Mum."

"Mmm?"

"You know Charlie's my—my best friend."

She glanced up. "If you're going to ask if he can come on our Menorca holiday this year, the answer is no, because I've already bought the tickets."

"No, that's, um ... that's not what I was going to say."

Sarah looked at him questioningly, hoping this was the conversation they'd needed to have for months, but not wanting to push him.

It took him some thought before he could decide how to put it, she could see that, but eventually he said, simply. "He's my boyfriend. Charlie's my boyfriend."

Sarah smiled at him, to let him know it was okay and he could keep going.

So he did. "I ... I still like girls, but, um, we— I like boys, too. And—and me and Charlie, we're— We're going out. And I just—wanted you to know." He looked so glad to have said it finally.

Her eyes were filled with tears. "Oh, baby." She reached for him, hugging him tightly. "Oh. Aw, thank you for telling me. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me that."

Nick held on to her, and she could feel his relief in the tightness of his grip on her.

Sarah let go, sitting back. "You don't have to say you like girls if you don't."

"No. I, um ... It's definitely not just guys. I, um ... It's called bisexuality. If you've heard of that?"

The surrealness of her sixteen-year-old son trying to educate her on this was just lovely. "I have heard of that. I wasn't born in the eighteenth century." They both laughed. "How long have you known?"

"Well, um ..." He reached up and wiped away a tear before it could roll down his cheek. "Me and Charlie started going out a couple of months ago, but ... I started liking him way before that."

Sarah reached to hug him once more. "Oh, I love you."

Nick rested his head on her shoulder. "I love you, too."

She sat back again. "Do you mind if I ask questions?"

"No. No, I don't think so."

"So the fight with Harry, was that about this?"

"Sort of. I mean, Harry doesn't know about me and Charlie, but everyone knows Charlie's gay, and Harry was hassling him about it, and then—then Charlie had to lie about us, because I wasn't out." He winced.

"Did he mind that?"

"He said not. He never pressured me, always said I should take my time. But I felt so guilty, you know? I was so afraid that people would look at me differently. I don't know why."

"Change is hard, Nicky. Especially when the thing changing is how you look at yourself." She was grateful he had found someone who had the patience to wait until he was ready, even though it sounded like Nick had put a lot of pressure on himself anyway.

"Yeah. And I just didn't know—I mean, I knew how I felt about Charlie, or, well, I learnt it, but I also still felt like I liked girls, and that was so ... confusing, you know?"

She nodded.

Nick laughed. "It was Will Turner that did it. When I realised that I liked both Elizabeth Swann and Will, that suddenly started making sense."

Sarah laughed, too, glad she had picked that particular movie. "Those are good choices."

"Anyway, I started feeling better after that, but then Tara came out—she's our friend, and she's a lesbian—and it was so hard on her, because people kept saying stuff." He shook his head. "I don't know why I cared about people saying stuff, really."

She thought she recognized the name. "Tara Jones? Didn't you kiss her once?"

"Yes, at a party, years ago."

"I remember. You came home walking on clouds because you had kissed a girl."

Nick chuckled. "I remember that, too. Unfortunately, Tara tells me that was the moment she realised she didn't like guys, so it's a good thing I got over her. She and her girlfriend Darcy, I think they're going to be good friends of mine from now on."

"So. You have a boyfriend, you have new friends ... You've had a good term, it seems."

"Well, not all of it."

"No. But no one gets to be happy all the time, Nicky. There's always something. If in the midst of it, you can find people you care about, that's very lucky."

He nodded. "It is."

"Well. I think this calls for a celebratory dinner. Let's go out, shall we? Anywhere you want."

"Sounds good. Let me just go change—I'm all covered in sand."

"Good idea. I'll let the dog out while you do that."

He had reached the hall when Sarah called after him, "And, Nicky?"

"Yeah?"

"From now on, leave the door open when Charlie comes over."

He laughed. "Yes, Mum."