Medicine and Cigarettes [A Reddie FanFic]

Chapter 1

Richie stood alone in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at himself in disgust. He was dressed in a pair of stained sweatpants and a old, ripped up band t-shirt. He was also barefoot, causing the coldness of the hardwood floor to send shivers through his body. He had been standing there staring at his ghostly reflection for almost 10 minutes already. How is a 15 year old able to be this sickly skinny and pale? Richie sighed and took a seat on the toilet lid, rubbing his hands over his eyes. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I stop thinking about him?

Richie groaned out loud as tears welled up in his eyes. I just need to get a grip. I'm not in love with Eddie! I'm not gay, I can't be! It's stupid anyway. Eddie doesn't like me, and if he did he would tell me, right? Richie wiped at his face and ran a hand through his long, curly, dark hair, feeling anxiety start to bubble up inside and take over. He needed to get his mind off of this, he needs a distraction from the honeysuckle boy currently plaguing his thoughts. He stood up and started to quickly pace around in the small bathroom. As Richie continued to think, his thoughts quickly shifted onto the made-up image of Eddie's sweet lips against his own and he suddenly felt dizzy again.

"God dammit Trashmouth!!" He shouted, voice cracking from the volume. He pounded his hands against the already cracked marble counter top, and felt the sting of the impact run up his arms. Hot tears poured from his eyes like water falls as he cursed himself under his breath for letting them fall. His whole life Richie had been cursed by self doubt and he wasn't able to stop it. Now he felt completely powerless. He couldn't even get his mind off of Eddie.

Richie looked into the bathroom mirror again and saw his pale face starting to grow red from the emotion. He wanted nothing more than to go back to bed so he could forget about his shitty problems, but knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight anyways.

His head turned sharply to look at the open window next to the toilet. He hadn't noticed the window slightly being open, despite the cold breeze being let in.

His stomach dropped.

That was when Richie realized he wasn't the only one who'd been having trouble sleeping that night. He noticed a bike left abandoned in the yard on the side of his house. It was too dark to make out whose it was though.

Someone had to have heard him...one of the Losers had to have heard him...

He never yelled anything about anyone specific, but the ears that caught on to this would have questions.

Questions caused Richie to tense up and stutter almost as bad as Bill. Questions led to answers, answers lead to pain, and pain leads to anger. Anger causes pain to people he cares about...or so that's what his mother said once. She said, "Anger is the worst kind of poison, it's like a cancer eating away at your insides." That was while she was sober, which she never was anymore. Its ironic really. He only knows her for being angry, mostly mad that he exsits. His father also started drinking for the same reason. Richie was unwanted.

Well, until he met Bill, Stan, and Eddie in kindergarten. Thats when he actually felt like someone. Now he's fifteen and Mike, Ben, and Beverly have joined there group. They made him feel loved, but that all crumbled at the thought of them finding out his possible feelings for one of the Losers.

If they found out about his unexplained thoughts for Eddie, he would be alone, he would be worthless, and he would die from it. He tried to keep a tight lip, he tried to keep his emotions hidden, he kept the hurt and loneliness hidden from his friends. He didn't want them to worry, though he doesn't know why they would.

He quickly slammed the window shut and backed away shaking. Opening the door to the bathroom and turning off the light, Richie rushed across the hall into his dark room. The only light in there was the moon peering in through the window as a reminder of Richies constant inability to stay in a proper sleep schedule.

However, that same moon has been kind enough to be seen illuminating his friends faces beautifully during their sleepovers and camping trips. The way the powerful orb in the sky lights up their faces makes Richie evermore greatful of his ability to push through everything, even though it's slowly causing his demise.

Laying on his twin sized mattress seemed pointless knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep. He sat down on the edge of his bed with his back to the wall, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and let out another deep sigh. He just wanted some peace and quiet, maybe if he could close his eyes he'd sleep and forget his problems for awhile.

Unfortunately, his room got brighter as the sun rose and the birds started chirping. Another very common sleepless night for the town Trashmouth.

He got up to get ready. He grabbed a Queen shirt and ripped black jeans from his closet along with a pair of clean boxers and headed to the small bathroom that held his breakdown just a few hours before.

After he got out of the shower, he got dressed and brushed his teeth, taking extra effort to avoid seeing himself in the fogged up mirror. He brushed his curly mop of hair, put his glasses on and stepped into the hall, heading toward the kitchen and sitting down at the table.

His parents left for work already so he was alone like usual. Just sitting there, he started zoning out, the familiar feeling of exhaustion hitting him full force once again.

The ring of the house phone took him out of the void his brain was quickly dragging him into. He made his way over and sighed before picking it up, getting ready to put on one of his voices. Not a funny one, but one to make whoever was on the other end believe he was ok.

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An: Hey! This is my first Reddie fanfic and as the story progresses I would love some constructive criticism on my writing. I want to be able to improve! Anygays, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day/night!❤️