Emily Prentiss x Reader One Shots

The Melody of Loss

Genre: Angst

Words: 1.4k+

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, malnutrition, depression, grieving, blood.

Summary: Takes place after Emily has 'passed away? It's really just an angsty fic about grieving the loss of Emily.

It had been two months since Emily had left your life, you had mourned her each and every day. Slowly pieces of you withered away as happy memories contorted to remnants of a life you could no longer have. Going into work served as only another reminder she truly was gone but you forced yourself to persevere.

That evening things became too much; you lay on the floor begging your brain for reasons to continue. Without Emily everything just seemed empty and there was a hollow part of your heart you feared could never be filled again. Though it was just an expression, having your heartbroken, you felt the organ incessantly cracking. Your chest was heavy and every time you breathed your lungs constricted, demanding to breathe the scent of Emily's shampoo, the smell of her perfume, her.

The hoodie that adorned your skin no longer smelled like Emily and you would have screamed out if your body allowed you to, alas it didn't. You were running on minimal energy levels, meniscal daily tasks took their toll on you, nourishing your body was no longer a priority. It helped when you were numb, it wasn't a cure, but the buzz of emotional pain was more dulled, diluted and less consuming.

Quiet sobs passed through your lips as you lay on the cold floor, you had no idea how long you had been crying, all you knew was you woke up in the same position you were previously in with puffier, redder eyes. You sat upright, too tired to focus on anything other than the blank space that filled the front room, you finally let your eyes settle on the piano by the window. It was now gathering dust, missing its player's delicate fingers.

A single tear fell down your cheek as forced yourself up and walked to sit down on the stool. You pressed down on a piano key and a note rang through the room, bouncing off the walls and yet another bittersweet memory resurfaced.

It had been Emily's idea to buy the piano, you'd planned on starting out small together, renovating this little apartment you'd bought with your dual salaries. One day you got back and there it was. It was vintage and though it took up a large amount of space, you couldn't deny, the piano was perfectly suited to the vibe of the apartment. The sunlight beamed through the window and cascaded onto it as Emily sat on the velvet stool looking down at the keys, she seemed miles away, plagued by a distant memory.

As you walked up to her, you took in how radiant she looked, a loose white blouse was loosely hung around her shoulders, accompanied by plain black vest and casual black work slacks. The light hit her perfectly, showing off her slick jawline.

When you brought your hands down to her shoulders, she jolted just slightly but instantly relaxed into the contact. She hummed contently when you moved your hands down to wrap around her waist, nuzzling your head into her neck. The smell of her shampoo and perfume filled your nostrils and your little heart leapt from your chest, much like it always did when you found yourself wrapped around Emily.

Her hands were delicately placed on yours as she laced your finger together, holding you tight against her. The soft skin of her cheek brushed against the side of your face. You looked into chocolate brown eyes and saw the weight that was contained within them. Emily had never been a big talker and from months of experience you knew best how to help her through troubling times without antagonising her.

You placed your lips to her temple for a few seconds, holding her you rocked from side to side on the heels of your feet, swaying the both of you slowly to a fictious melody playing in your head. Puckering your lips, you placed a soft kiss to her porcelain skin before breaking away for a split second to sit next to her on the stool.

Shifting the weight of your body and head, you leaned into Emily. "Play me something?"

She smiled down at you for a few fleeting moments before setting her gaze on the piano, elegantly bringing her fingers to the keys. With the lightest of touches on each key and the pedal moving under her foot now and then to elongate specific notes, Emily did as exactly you asked. When she finally finished playing you peered up at your musician to find her eyes were glazed over, salty tears were brimming over her waterline as she once again looked into the distance.

Broken was your heart as you reached up to hold this strong-willed woman's face between the palms of your hands. Emily wore sorrowful smile, looking deep into your eyes searching for answers to a question you hadn't yet been graced with. A single tear spilled from her eyes and made its journey to your thumb so you could brush it away.

"I knew a little boy; I taught him how to play." From the heartache the words brought her you knew whatever had happened to the boy in question wasn't an easy topic to breach. Of course, later you learnt who he was, how and why he meant so much to Emily.

She adverted her eyes, looking around the small apartment, before meeting your gaze once again. Her hands homed in on your waist, gradually bringing your bodies closer. You vision went black as you closed your eyes and let her nimble lips grace yours with their presence. A slow rhythm was set as your lips danced together, just as they had time and time before. Held within the kiss was something new, you tasted the question that lay dormant within Emily, and you slowly pulled your lips away.

Not wanting to stray too far away you leaned your head forward to touch Emily's, relishing in the feel of her warm breath caressing your lips.

"I want a family with you," she breathed out, pulling back to study your expression. Melancholy tears were transformed into those of delight as she watched the corner of your lips twitch.

"There is nothing in this world that I want more than just that Emily Prentiss." Her face became blurry, you only registered you too were crying when the kiss that you shared moments later grew wet.

With both hands you slammed the piano cover down, startling yourself when a loud thud echoed through the room that was once filled with the sweet sound of piano chords. The ghost of Emily was felt next to you on the stool and your stomach churned when you remembered just how close you once had her. How close you were to a future together, the engagement ring remained on your finger, though it had become loose, many of times it had almost fallen off, as if telling you to let go.

Your body gave up on you and you fell against the piano, darkness circled around you, it was engulfing you, whispering and coaxing you to give in, to join Emily. It was unrelenting, sucking you in and you felt yourself folding over and over. A whirlwind of grieve was stirring mayhem in your head and you held no more control over your emotions as screams of pure agony worked their way up from your gut, passing your dry throat and exiting your chapped lips.

Anger began to bubble within your veins, questions of how she could ever leave you all alone rung through you mind and you grabbed the only thing within your reach, throwing it as far your weak-willed arms would allow.

"NO!" you screamed, running over to the broken shards of glass dispersed across the floor. The smell of Emily filled the whole room as her perfume circulated the air around you. "No, no, no." You sobbed, picking up pieces of glass, not caring as red beads of blood formed on your fingers. You threw your head back looking up at the ceiling, pleading to any higher being to take this all away, to bring your fiancé back, to let you feel her arms around you again, "Please no." you screamed out. Tears continuously trickling down your face, the acidity burning a red lined path down from your eyes to your chin.

Your body shook from the pain that raked through you; you felt the emotions seep from every inch of you. Just as you though you would never know peace again, hands wrapped around you and the world calmed just a little bit.

"She's gone." The words came out cracked and almost inaudible through all the crying. But you knew JJ heard when she held you the slightest bit tighter. You continued to cry, this time with the security of knowing you weren't alone in all of this.

"I-I'm so sorry." JJ held you as she herself began to cry, only later would you understand just why her tears had been fuelled by guilt and not grief.