yours sincerely ; regulus black

Sirius

Dear Brother,

I know that we have long since lost touch,but I thought that I should write so that you know the truth,so that the less than ideal vision of me you have doesn't taint itself further.

By the time you receive this letter,I will be dead,whether by the Dark Lord's hand or my own.

I have been doing some thinking over these past few years,the years we have strayed away from each other,and I have come to see that I was an utterly repulsive person towards you when we went to school,a "complete and utterly dickhead" as you would put it.

So,I'd like to apologise. Mere words can't describe how sorry and I am,and I wish I could say them all in person but I simply can't bring myself to do it. I can't come and see you. I have to say it on pen and paper,my words stained in ink.

I'm just... so fucking sorry. All of the stuff I said about your friends,about you. And now I think back on it,I could never imagine myself saying any of those things to you if I had a clear mind.

Mother and father tainted my mind. Filled it with those stupid blood supremacist ideologies,and I regret ever listening to them. I should've stayed by your side. Listened to you and not them. Protected you,like you used to protect me.

Remember when you asked to be brothers again? I turned you down. Me and my stupid head turned you down for fear of disappointing mother and father. I wish we could be brothers again,Sirius,I really do. I'd give anything for it to be just us again,not a care in the world when we were together. Brothers.

Because I loved you,brother. And I still do.

I love you more than my pathetic words can describe,you were my world,Sirius,I looked up to you immensely. Whenever yous told up to mum,to dad,and took the punishment with no shame whatsoever,holding in your pain,I thought "wow,that's my brother.thats my big brother and he's brilliant. I'm going to be like him one day,brave with not a care in the world" I wanted- no,dreamed-to be as brave as you were.

But my passion over took my dreams.

You weren't present when I became a death eater,but I assumed you had heard about it. I was so excited,Sirius,so proud to serve the Dark Lord. It was all I'd ever wanted.

And our parents,oh our parents

They were so proud of me,brother. I'd never felt better in my life,and they had never felt so good about me. They boasted about me,spoke highly to and of me. I was respected by them,and in all my bliss,my thoughts of you subsided.

But it was a year layer,last year,when I discovered the Dark Lord's was a fraud.

I had been growing steadily depressed under Lord Voldemort's service,only staying for the happiness of mother and father,but my mid was being tortured. I thought I'd be happy,being along side other members of our family like Bellatrix and Narcissa,but it wasn't. I couldn't bring myself to do the stuff they were asking.

It was around this time that I learnt of a magical item that the Dark Lord had created - A Horcrux.

He was looking to create many,as far as I was aware,but no one knew that he was doing it. I suppose the reason he was keeping it a secret was so that no one could find out and try and seize them. I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a book that gives explicit instructions oh how to make one,and all the prices slotted into place.

I knew what I had to do.

So I set out looking for one. I searched hig and low,all over the country,whenever we went on mission,my mind was drifting and my eyes were searching,looking for any clues of where it could possibly be.

It took me months Sirius. But I did it. I discovered his secret. Me.

I am going to go for the Horcrux in about a day,when I've finished writing my letters. I know most people won't even bother to read them,but it gives me a slight consolidation that I've sent them,and that they may be read.

I miss you Sirius. I want you back with me. I wish we could forget,go back in time to when we were just two careless brothers who loved each other more than anything,who would do anything for each other. We had a horrible home,and were always searching for somewhere better. You found the Potters,but I felt empty without you.

You were my home,Sirius.

I hope you receive my letter in good heath,and that you take the time to read it over,and understand why I will be lost. I face death,in hope that when the Dark Lord meets his match,he will be mortal once more.

Though I will no longer be in touch,don't be a stranger,and take good care of yourself. Tell Remus I said hello.

Yours Sincerely,

R.A.B

Your loving brother