𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. | 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐳

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Chapter 10

I SPENT THE REST OF MY TIME ALONE, NEARLY JUMPING OUT OF MY SEAT OVER EVERY NOTIFICATION I GOT.

Every single time I'd think it was him responding back, only to realize it was a video recommendation on YouTube, or Pinterest telling me how I had another photo collection that I should check out.

It felt like time was going by slower than ever as I sat awaiting for a text that I wasn't even sure I was going to receive back. I didn't notice how eager waiting for something could've made you. It makes you anxious. Makes you feel like the world is doing it on purpose just to edge you on.

I couldn't just sit here and bite the skin off my nails. I had to leave and get some fresh air or else I think I'd go insane, waiting.

The good thing is that the sun is barely rising and it would normally be the time where I went for a walk.

Reluctantly lifting from the couch to go change into something walk comfy, I quietly walked my way throughout the house, making it into my silent room where a sleeping Erick rested on my bed.

Erick was a heavy sleeper so, I had one less thing to worry about. If a glass breaking an inch away from him didn't wake him up before, an opening drawer wouldn't either.

I picked out an all black hoodie and legging shorts like I normally would, sliding the hoodie over top the lounge top I had slept in, knowing when I came back, I'd be tired and in need of at least a few more minutes of sleep.

I peeked over Ericks shoulder, examining myself in the body length mirror by the bed. My black hair messily draped over my shoulders, my eyes darker than usual, surrounded by a purple hue of exhaustion.

Last night was a pain in my ass. The wet dream of Tom that wasn't what it seemed kept me up past three am. I stirred, tossed and turned every second just thinking about it. I was moving around profusely that at one point, Erick straight up slapped me square across the face in his sleep because I was distrusting his slumber. I couldn't blame him, I was disturbing myself repeating the image in my head. So, because of that, I was now running on half a mug of coffee and three hours of sleep.

I softly huffed a breathe, walking over toward my vanity to brush out my mangled hair, and pull it into a low bun before leaving, like I always have.

I exit my room, jogging slowly down the stairs with a hand on the railing, just thinking to myself up until I made it back to the living room where I picked up my phone, my diary which I left on the tv stand, and my personal key to the house, and soon after, left.

I chose to leave bear at home this time. He's been getting weaker and weaker as the days came on, and a dog that was once able to jump, run, and even walk, was no longer capable of doing either of those things. I was shocked he even lasted this long if I say so myself, but I'm glad he did. Because I still have my soulmate in the end. Pretty odd for a big dog like bear to last nineteen years, huh? I said that too.

Thankfully Erick treated him like his own; feeding, bathing, and even playing with him. So, I departed from the house in ease knowing bear would've gotten fed and taken out to use the bathroom as soon as Erick woke up.

Stefan I noticed was out somewhere. His bedroom door was open, and his room empty. He most likely went to the gym like how he always had when we lived with our dad, but I wasn't to sure. Yet, that's what I chose to believe and I kept it that way in order to prevent anxious thoughts.

I took the fresh air into my lungs with a parted lips, moderately exhaling to give my tired brain a fuzzy feeling. A calm fuzzy feeling that made me feel as though I fell asleep for a moment which was what I needed.

I continued down the path until I reached the same grassy field me and bear discovered the other day, watching as a pair of geese nibbled the grass to keep nourished.

Although they were beautiful creatures, I didn't near them. The last time I did I was six, and I returned home with a bite mark on my ass and grass markings all over my clothes. So, I just admired from a far. Watching as they gracefully stepped along the damp grass, plucking off small specks before moving to another spot, soon leaving the grass around them a different length compared to the rest.

Sighing a quiet giggle from the memories, I slowly lowered myself onto a piece of cement, placing my diary on my lap while staring at the view ahead of me. The sun blinding me with its beauty as I scanned my gaze all across it.

With just the sight, I got a sudden urge to write. I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth, gently biting down as I looked down at the diary. Opening it and turning all of the vent filled pages from the past to an empty one.

DEAR DIARY,

The girl stood in awe as the sun began to crest the horizon. She watched in wonder as its golden rays illuminated the sky, painting it in a vivid orange and red. She felt the warmth of its embrace, drawing her in closer and filling her heart with a sense of optimism and joy. She felt almost as if she could touch the sun, feeling its power and beauty within her very soul. It was in this moment that she realized that anything was possible, and that she was capable of achieving her dreams. She hoped for her mind to be renewished, and cut free off all her worries in which made her suffer.

May the sun guide her, hand in hand, to that very moment.