the office relationship

chapter eight

8

shit I mean shit 

Life, what a word! A simple 4 letter word, didn't think could have such a deep meaning. They say 'Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all', which is one thousand percent right. When we were young in like 3 or 4 grade, we all were so eager to grow up and explore the world outside, because let's be honest we all thought it was just sunshine and butterflies, growing up becoming someone in life, having it planned out "perfectly". That never happens, does it? When you are in middle school and get a B+ on your assignment it seems like you've failed, then you reached high school, and just finishing all your assignments is a task. In some people's cases, their parents are always forcing them to be good in everything, to be the real-life all-rounder. Or some people's cases life consumes so much of their energy that they have very less time to focus on their studies. Parents, teachers, and professors always say that your grades don't define you yet somehow they are the people who judge you based on your marks. When you are a teenager, you always want to grow up and be someone in your life, while the other part of you just wants to give up, but still, you continue to struggle and fight your way through life. You meet new people, some who become your new best friends, and some people who tell you just hate for no reason. Life just goes on, it doesn't stop for anyone, while you are just trying to navigate your way through, just trying to find yourself. You lose some people and at the same time, you gain some.

I was just sitting there on my new desk, just staring off into the air when my vision goes in front of me at Matthew, he was not looking like himself. I mean he was just not his confident self, his hair was ruffled it was not in his usual slicked-back way, the first 2 buttons of his shirt were open and there a single tear drop just rolled down his face. A SINGLE TEAR ROLLED DOWN HIS FACE, what! Matthew Davis was crying, no no no that's not possible. I just continue to stare at him for a few moments as tears roll down his face. He was not fully sobbing crying but just tears. I didn't know what to do, it felt like it was something illegal I am watching. I didn't know what to do. should I go console him? or should I just stay here pretending I never saw this happen? my humanity got the best of me. I got up, straightening my skirt, I reached deep into my purse to retrieve a chocolate. something sweet always helps. i just knocked on his door, but his assistant was not in her place. he opened the door, looking at me like I was not supposed to disturb him. he just steps aside to let me in without saying a word, and he sits on his signature chair. he just stares at me, his eyes still subtly red from the crying. 

" I know I am not supposed to be here at this moment or this is none of my business, but I saw you crying, well not crying crying but crying, like tears from your eyes. and also during our meeting earlier it was like you were I your own world. again I am sorry for intruding but I just wanted to give you this" I ramble as I slide the chocolates onto his table, his glace moving from me to the new object on the table

"something sweet, it always helps if you are not in the mood" I smile while I was still standing awkwardly

"I will go now, and I assure you the chocolate is not poisoned." I try to make a joke. making him smile a little

"Also if you want to talk or whatever I am a good listener, I promise I will not tell your secrets to anyone" As soon as those words left my mouth I immediately regretted them. his face went from showing no emotions to visibly shocked. my mind couldn't stop thinking about all the situations that could've gone wrong in his life. maybe he broke up with his girlfriend. maybe his dad said no to something. well, that sounds childish.

"Gemma" he just says, staring through my soul as if he could hear my thoughts.

"yes" I add

" you are a good person, I am sorry if I have hurt you verbally in any way" Well that was definitely random, but you could see the regret in those blue eyes of his.

" no it's fine, I should really get going now " I just try to shake it off, while pointing towards the door

"my father," he says and just pauses, those two words grab my attention

"my father, he is in the hospital probably on life support by now"he just says the scariest sentence I have heard so cooly and calmly even i was blowing up on the inside.

" what" That was all that came out of my mouth

"My father, ken davis, had a heart attack yesterday" he elaborates

"Oh my god, I am so sorry Matthew, I had no idea. there was no news. also, what are you doing here you should be in the hospital shouldn't you?"

"no, I would much like being here, than in that hellhole, also we have not released the news to the public yet, it is still all a secret. so I hope you could keep it to yourself" 

" no, I mean yes I will keep it to myself" I was still not able to process the information and what surprised me the most is how cool Matthew is, and also that I am one of the only people who knew.

" thank you, for the chocolates and for listening though I probably should not have told you."

" you're welcome and also you can trust me with the information." he got up from his chair and in two steps he was directly in front of me. he picked up 2 of the 5 chocolates and silently offered me one. I declined. he unwrapped the wrapper and my attention went straight towards his fingers, he had some kind of tattoo done between his fingers, which would not have been visible if you weren't standing so close, he put the entire candy in his mouth while slowly chewing on it. 

" just cry it out, trust me it helps" I just state while silently leaving the room not wanting the situation to escalate. that was by far the weirdest experience I have had with Matthew Davis and trust me there were loads. working here for 2 weeks was a task, we used to bump outside the washroom, in the lunch area, in the sitting room, and even in the freaking smoke room. but in the end, he was a reasonable person to work with.