A Vow of Silence

Chapter 35.

Nicole

The next morning, I had fully prepped myself and the boys to leave Charming. Jax had mentioned that he had one last meeting with the club before leaving. I hadn't known that he was planning on leaving the club altogether, but I knew that it was a decision he thought heavily about.

When we got home last night, Wendy had put the boys to sleep, and she fell asleep in Thomas's room. I had contacted Nero to inform his uncle that we'd all be joining him on the farm and that we'd move shortly after. Wendy hadn't been made aware of our plans, but I knew that she wouldn't argue when it came to the safety of the boys.

The morning after Gemma's death, I had to ensure that the crime was clean. Jarry had knocked on the door this morning looking for Jax, but I convinced Wendy to make a strong alibi for him. She didn't know the full details of why, but I needed to make sure that Jax wasn't seen as a suspect.

Jarry motioned for me to speak with her privately as she laid out the details that I had planted for them. I feigned shock as I held back tears that would never fall. I blamed Gemma's drastic plunge at Abel's abuse claims at school, and Jarry reluctantly agreed. She shared her condolences before leaving the house, and I watched her pull out of the driveway, before sharing the fabricated story with Wendy.

Of course, Wendy was a bundle of tears as she mourned the loss of her son's grandmother. I knew she probably thought I was cold as I continued to pack rather than share in her grief. But the only grief I would experience is if these boys had to grow up in this town.

"I should go tell Abel," she sniffed, and I scolded her.

"I think he's been through enough."

"But Nicky, his grandmother is gone!" she protested.

"And what good will that do for him if he knows right now? Can we at least allow his initial trauma to settle before adding something else?"

"Gemma is dead. We at least have to do something!"

"Like what? Have a funeral for the woman your son accused of murder?" I cocked my head at her and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"W-what?" she asked shakily.

"Do you want to have a funeral for the woman who murdered your son's mother?" I deadpanned.

Wendy's eyes grew wide and she shook her head slowly. "Good," I said simply, "now please go finish packing the boys' things." She hesitated at the authority in my voice and then scurried off to go pack. She didn't question me again for the remainder of the day until we pulled into Teller-Morrow.

"What happened Nicole?" Wendy's voice was low, as she tried to keep Abel from hearing.

"Will it make a difference if you know? Aren't you still going to stick around?" Wendy looked taken aback by my words but didn't argue with me. "Trust me, Wendy, everything is going to work out the way it should."

Wendy didn't bother saying anything else as she helped Thomas out of his car seat. Abel lunged himself in my arms with a smile on his face. "Daddy!" he exclaimed when he noticed Jax walking towards us.

Jax smiled at his son as he picked up the child in his arms and swung him around. I smiled at the site as I went to join them and planted a kiss on Jax's lips. However, upon reviewing his face I knew that there was something off about him.

The smile slowly dropped from my face as I placed my hand on his cheek. "What's going on?" I asked him, trying to keep a cheerful demeanor in front of Abel. Jax slowly shook his head as his eyes brimmed with tears. From the corner of my eye, I could see Nero hide his grief with sunglasses, and I stepped away from Jax in betrayal.

He realized that I finally understood and walked past me and placed a kiss on Thomas's head. Wendy studied his demeanor and questioned him, but he only kissed her cheek instead. I could feel my body shaking with anger and sadness as everything I wanted slowly crumbled right in front of me.

I turned away as I heard the car door shut and I knew that Jax was returning to me. When I felt his arms around my waist, I practically recoiled at his touch. "What are you doing Jax?" my eyes were filled with tears and a few even managed to escape.

Jax smiled at me sadly and made another attempt to bring me close. "I can't run away with you baby." I choked back on a sob as the words left his mouth. "I can escape a lot of things, I can run away, but I can't escape what I am. People like me don't get happy endings."

I swallowed the vomit that threatened to come up my throat and put my hand on my chest. "This isn't fair Jax!" I pleaded, "Please, let's go." I tugged at his hand, but he refused to move his feet.

"I'm sorry baby," he looked down at me sadly and cupped my face in his hands. I couldn't help the tears that soaked my cheeks, because my grief wouldn't allow me to. Jax wasn't coming with me. There would be no farm. There would be no growing old together. There was no second chance.

The only thing I'd have left of him is the secret we now shared. And I think he knew that would never be enough for me.

"I'm coming with you," I said firmly. I swatted at the tears that had run down my cheeks, and Jax looked at me with a sad smile.

"Nicky..."

"No, I'm coming with you." My voice was firm despite the loud beating of my heart. "We go together, you and me."

Jax stared at me for a moment and then slowly nodded his head. He held my hand in his as we walked towards the car. Abel looked at me with a smile and then held up his father's rings for me to see.

"Oh, wow, that's so cool!" I pushed out every ounce of happiness I had left and opened the car door to give him a hug.

"Are you coming with us, Nicky?" I stifled a cry as the sweet boy questioned me.

"No, honey, I have to stay here. I think your daddy needs some company." He nodded his head at my reply and then pulled me in for another tight hug. "I love you, Nicky," he whispered in my ear and tears streamed down my face.

"I love you too baby." When I pulled away, I planted a kiss on Thomas's forehead before closing the car door. Wendy looked at me skeptically, but I pulled her into a hug. "Take care of yourself, Wen, this is your second chance."

She nodded her head and then questioned me, but I ignored her question as I walked away with Jax. He interlocked our fingers as I swung my leg over the bike. It was an older model, blue, and seemingly smaller than his own.

This must have been his father's bike, and that was poetic in a way. Because John Teller sacrificed everything for his family and his club, but no one was willing to do the same for him.

I wondered how things would have been if someone had. But my questions disappeared when Jax revved up the engine and took us on the longest ride I would ever have. There would be no stops or turns. It would just be me and him, intertwined forever. Buried with the secrets we vowed to keep. Vowing to be silent forever.

THE END.