My life as A Dark Souls Boss in a New world (Eminence In Shadow X Male Reader)

Chapter 1: Origins

It was a sunny day in Japan, birds chirped a melodious melody, kids ran around without a care in the world just plain enjoying themselves. And on such a pleasant day that seemed perfect for going outside and laying down on a nice patch of luscious green grass, here I laid playing dark souls 3 fighting this burnt crisp motherfu- and I just died....

"FUUUCCCKKK!" I screamed as I launched my controller to the other side of the room only to gasp upon realising it was heading for the window.

In that very moment time slowed to a snails pace as I watched my controller spiral through the air like a starfish, only this starfish was made of plastic and seconds away from landing in my backyard. Scrambling to my feet I pushed past several bottles of coke littering my floor in a futile attempt to reach my controller, but it was already to late. With one hand outstretched and the other grabbing onto the frame of my window I watched in despair as my controller dropped into a pond floating at the top for only a few seconds as if it was observing me with disappointment in it's last moments before sinking to the bottom.

"Well shit. There goes another controller." I contemplate as I stare out my window, this wasn't the first controller to get chucked out a window and it damn well isn't gonna be the last.

"I just fucking got that one to." I sigh in defeat as I turn around and head back to my console.

Retrieving yet another controller from my drawer which just so happened to be my last, I then proceeded to take a seat on my bed eyes locked on my monitor. After suffering from the jaws of defeat that is the soul of cinder for the... 160th time? Honestly i've lost count to the amount of times this lanky son of a bitch has killed me.

"My student, I sense doubt in your heart. Are you giving up?" A voice, their tone weary spoke out to me.

"Of course not Master Oogway." I replied in a strained voice.

"Turn around Y/n." Master Oogway requested to which I complied.

Turning my head to one of my shelves it was then that my eyes locked onto a repurposed fish tank which housed my pe- I mean master Oogway. Whenever I fell upon dark times, mater Oogway would be their to offer me guidance. Sometimes I think I'm unworthy of his wisdom.

"Come my student, I believe you are in need of another lesson." Master Oogway ordered as he munched on a piece of lettuce I had placed in his tank.

Making my way over to his tank I then took a seat on the floor making sure to push aside any trash cluttering the ground so I could get comfortable. Ready to receive a very insightful lesson that would surely boost my knowledge in the ways of combat I clasped my hands together.

"If the dick don't spit, you must acquit."

I was silent unsure of what to say, the only noise filling the room being the crackling of the bonfire coming from my monitor. This was a common occurrence that would happen between Master Oogway and I, he would share his knowledge of the world and say nothing afterwards expecting me to decipher his message on my own accord. So there I sat for multiple minutes as I tried and failed to figure out just what the hell the message meant. 

"I GOT IT!" I shouted as I grabbed at the sides of master Oogway's tank.

"You want me to use a dex build don't you!" I exclaimed sure of my discovery.

Yet I would get no confirmation on my inquiry as master Oogway merely looked at me before taking a big bite out of his lettuce.  It as then that I realised just how depraved I looked, giving my pet turtle a voice whilst having it act as if it's my teacher.

"Fuck I need friends." I exhale in defeat as I brush a hand through my hair.

"Indeed." Master Oogway agre- Okay I really need stop.