For What it Was Worth

For What Me and Him were Worth

For what me and him were worth, no one would have expected an outcome any better nor worse then what happened

The girl with the good reputation

Falling in love with the boy who was known for playing everyone

What did she expect? For him to be different, of course.

Every morning for months she woke up and looked in the mirror

All that she wished was that she looked like her.

That girl was pretty

Had long hair

Beautiful eyes

Gorgeous body

All she had was smarts, wore dumb glasses, average length hair, and "pretty" depending on the guy

No one looked at her in awe

But they looked at her like that. 

Every day she wondered why she wasn't enough.

She loved him more, made sure he was okay, and was completely in love with him

She would give her life for him

But she didn't get invited to his house, another girl did

He didn't ask her out, he asked another girl

I knew all the small things about him and she didn't.

We were "just friends", kissed as "just friends", and flirted on the down low.

Never a "regular" conversation as "just friends" didn't always have the thought of kissing each other in the back of their minds

It wasn't okay but it was still having him till one day she woke up mad she wasn't her.

One day she stopped double texting him

One day she stopped thinking about him the whole day

He didn't know all the small things about her

He followed this girl on Spotify but didn't know her comfort music was from Billie Eillish.

He spent hours on the phone "as friends" with her but still didn't know she enjoyed seeing him in person more.

He watched her draw flowers in art but still didn't know that her favorite were roses, but not just the red ones, the white ones as well.

He watched her double text and not answer, not knowing she was falling apart inside

He knew she was smart but didn't know that she would do extra tiring work just to help him with homework

He knew that she would give him her body, but didn't know that she mainly did it to not be accused of being a coward, not being able to get him off,  and she just wanted him to be happy and not need other girls. 

One day she stopped asking to call,

Left him alone when he asked.

One day she finally realized that even the possibility of him still loving her deep down was there but he would always be too ashamed to admit it. 

One day she woke up and didn't think about him,

Didn't text him as soon as she woke up.

One day, she started to get over him, started to heal.

One day, she realized that she was worth more then his treatment. 

She believed that one day, she would find someone that would do this much for her.

For them.