Perfectly Imperfect

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Model

"KUYA Cris, sa bahay na po." I said to our driver.

"Okay po, ma'am!"

I tilt my head to the side because of tiredness. Hapon pa lang pero kailangan ko na ring umuwi dahil sa dami ng gagawin.

Napagod din ako kakagawa ng notes at marami rin ang mga biglaang lumalapit para magpa-picture or autograph. It made me happy yet it's also tiring.

I want to be treated as just a regular student, not the famous one. I tried very hard to avoid being famous in the school.

I'm glad that they were socializing with me and they made me their friend, but of course, not everything went well.

Besides all the happiness, there are many obstacles and difficulties. It's hard for me knowing that some of them are just using me for fame.

I remember someone saying...

"Ionna, you and I weren't friends, we are just using you and your money! Don't be ridiculous."

A lot has happened and a lot of betrayal arise.

I just wanted to have friends who will never use me for their own benefit and someone who will support me just like how my mom does.

It could be a little simpler to go through life if you treat everyone like a dear friend. You can feel better about yourself and your life by being kind, doing favors for others, and offering assistance.

I shrugged at that thought. It made me shiver. Those memories that still lingers on my mind.

Sa dami ng iniisip ay hindi ko namalayang nakarating na pala kami sa bahay. Bumaba na ako mula sa sasakyan at kinuha ang mga gamit ko.

"Ako na po ang magdadala, ma'am—" Kuya Cris insisted.

"Ako na po, Kuya. Kaya ko naman po,"

"Mabigat po ata ang mga bag niyo." he added.

"It's okay, Kuya. Thank you!"

Pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay at dumiretso sa aking kwarto.

Nilapag ko ang aking mga gamit, kinuha ko rin ang mga regalo at sulat na natanggap at itinago iyon.

Naligo ako at nagsuot muna ng robe pagkatapos. Kailangang matapos na agad ang mga gawain para hindi na matambakan, so I texted Jin, my manager that I'm ready for the other product shoot.

Jin Ceresto, my manager slash producer. He can also be a model because of his looks and capabilities. A 26-year old producer but I can say that he's already successful. He's handling different artists and models form all over the country. He's having a technique for us. Just like how he clicks his fingers to remind us. One click of his fingers, and I know that I should smile for the camera. He's really a perfectionist.

Nagbihis na ako at napagdesisyonan na pumunta na sa studio para sa photoshoot.

Nang dumating ay nakahanda na ang mga camera at background, hindi pa inilalabas ang perfume dahil baka raw mabasag.

May dumating din na ibang model, at ang gaganda nila. The way they walk, the way they present their outfits and the way they do things. They are gorgeous. Magmumukha siguro akong maliit na patatas kung itatabi ako sa kanila.

I suddenly felt insecure. Ang gaganda nila.

Dala-dala ang box ng mga gamit ay naglakad na ako para hanapin ang aking dressing room.

Inadvertently, I tripped over a step and began to fall. I couldn't hold the box. And things went everywhere.

Everyone was looking at me. I felt ashamed of my clumsiness.

I need to get my things quickly and take them to my supposed dressing room.

I knelt down to pack my things back into the box. Suddenly, a tall man came over and helped me pick up my things.

"Thank you—," I wasn't able to continue what I was saying when I saw the one who helped me picked up my things. "Producer Jin!"

After that, he held my shoulders and stood me up. I shivered at that sudden touch.

"You still have things to set up, let's go and I'll fix this." Jin, the man who helped me whispered.

He caressed my arm and walked out of the room. He's carrying the box that I brought.

I roamed around my eyes to observe the room. They started looking away. I felt embarrassed so I decided to walk towards the dressing room where Jin was.

Kinalimutan ko na lang ang nangyari dahil baka makaapekto lamang sa gagawin kong photoshoot mamaya. Ayaw kong mapahiya na naman dahil siguradong hindi iyon magugustuhan ni Jin.

Nag-alis din si Jin pagkatapos ilagay ang mga gamit ko sa dressing room, alam kong marami pa siyang aasikasuhin kaya nauna na siya.

Sinigurado kong ayos na ang lahat ng gamit bago ako tumingin ng mga notifications sa cellphone ko.

Buti naman at walang nagtangka na kumuha ng picture o video ng pagkakadapa ko kanina. Kung meron man, I'm sure that'll be the first one that I'll see on the social media.

I decided to check my messages and wrote a message to Maridel. She said that she's on her way to the studio. I waited patiently.

Ilang oras ang lumipas at dumating na rin si Maridel. She fixed her things and arranged her makeup kits. She called me to sit down in front of the vanity mirror and started putting on some foundation on my face.

"Isn't it too light? Meron akong pimples sa mukha, can you cover it, Maridel?" I exclaimed.

"Wala naman po, clear skin ka nga po 'e," she answered, checking if I have an acne on my face.

I laughed it off because she's my makeup artist and she knows what to do to my face. Maybe I just overlooked it or it's only a mosquito bite.

She finished my make up and I started choosing a clothes to wear. Ang daming pamimilian dahil ang dami ring scent nung brand. The brand that we're going to shoot is an elegant perfume. I need to wear something elegant that doesn't seem too much, so the perfume would be the center of attention.

I picked the shiny-yellow silk dress so it can match the perfume. The perfume looks like a liquor in a bottle so I think it matches my outfit.

"I think it doesn't suit me, do I look okay?" I asked Maridel, not minding the stares of the people inside.

"Ang ganda, bagay po!"

"I think I look weird, let me change quick,"

Nakailang palit na ako ng damit.

"How about this?" I asked for the nth time.

"Okay na naman po ah!"

They say it's okay, I look okay but I feel like they're lying. I looked ugly and I didn't know why.

I began changing back and forth and nothing satisfies me. I feel like I am ugly. I think neither of the dresses suits me.

This is not the first time that I felt this kind of feeling. It was like I am insecure and I wanted to change my whole self so I'll be fit in the society's standard. I wanted to change my physical appearance so I can be like them but that's nit how it works.

I am always worried about how I look. What's this thing that I'm feeling? Why do I have to feel uncertain?