NightShade- A Marvel Fanfic//Yn x Marvel

Chapter 18: Ashamed

**Trigger Warning? This chapter contains Violent Drunk Behavior**

When Tony can home, relief washed over you like a flood. It quickly dissipated into sadness when you watched as he hated himself, just like you did to your own mind.

You all felt guilty.

At first, Tony was weak. He could barely manage to walk, and became agitated when anyone even spoke to him.

He had said something so hurtful a few months ago, which you had blamed on the excessive amount of booze, it was burned into your brain. Had he meant it? Was he right?

He didn't even remember what he said, he was so drunk.

"MAYBE IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO STUPID TO GET STABBED, YOU COULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN USEFUL!" Tony screamed, making you flinch.

All you had said was that he needed to quit drinking for the night and he exploded in a fit of anger.

Hurt by his words, you blinked back tears as he red, drunk, eyes bore into yours.

"GET OUT!!" He stood from his chair, walking towards you, causing you to match his steps in the opposite direction. He slammed his lab door shut.

Fear overtaking your body, shuddering sobs racked your body as you ran up the stairs of the compound and into the common room, tears streaming down your face. Only one other person was left in the compound, as everyone had moved out, besides Steve, Pepper, and Nat. Tonight, Pepper had gone with Nat to pick up dinner.

Your breath shaky, you frantically rushed to Steve. "Steve? S-Steve?" You spoke fast.

"Yn? What happened are okay?" Steve threw down his book, now focused on you. You were about to explain when a loud thud came from the bottom of the stairs causing you to flinch in fear.

Steve stood up protectively.

Tony stumbled up the steps, a bottle of booze in one hand, a shattered frame in the other. He came towards you, and your gripped Steve's arm tightly.

Steve recognized the situation now, placing a firm hand on Tony's chest. "Tony your drunk."

He ignored Steve, trying to push past him. You back away as Steve held him, Tony struggling over his shoulder. Tony held a framed picture of your parents, you and your brother, the glass around it shattered.

"YOU SEE THAT?!" He screamed. "THEY WOULD BE SO ASHAMED!"

You fell to the ground, sobbing into your knees at Steve forced Tony out of the room. The two men disappeared, and just that second the door creaked open.

"We're home! We brought Chinese-" Nat stopped short as she saw you sobbing on the floor. Pepper rushed over to you cradling you in her arms as Nat rubbed your back.

"Shhh"

Shaking your head at the memory. When Tony came too the next morning, he remembered nothing.

"Tony." Steve said cautiously as he noticed the fear in your eyes when he entered the kitchen that morning. "Do you remember last night?"

He shook his head. "Last thing I remember is drinking in the lab. Passed out I think. What happened?" He asked, rubbing his forehead.

Nah opened her mouth to speak, but you offered a pleading lace, shaking your head. She hesitated before nodding. Only Steve and Pepper saw this, as Tony had his back turned to you, making coffee.

But that was months ago, and you had brushed it off, making sure to stay away from Tony when he got drunk. And tonight was one of those nights.

Solemnly slinking up the stairs after finding Tony drinking in his lab once again, you go into the living room to see Pepper curled up watching a movie. "Pep?" Your voice was soft and strained. Your eyes were glossy, laced with tears.

"What's wrong?" She asked, patting the seat next to her.

You say down, snuggling into her as you sniffed and wiped away your tears. "He's drinking again." You said bitterly.

Pepper nodded, understanding your hurt. She held you close until you finally fell asleep in her arms.

..............

You watched your hungover brother slink up the stairs. He noticed your saddened expression and his eyes softened, making his way to the toaster for breakfast. "No drinking today. I promise." He said, as if he read your mind.

You nodded, fighting tears. You had tried to hold it all together for everyone else, but when you were alone, you would cry yourself to sleep, missing Bucky, Peter...everyone.

Blinking back tears he tried to wrap an arm around you, but you moved away, turning to the fridge. Tony noticed.

"Junior...?" He muttered, a hint of hurt in his voice. "What's-"

"Nothing." You reply quickly.

He shook his head, concern lacing his eyes. "Don't make me get Friday to tell me what's going on, because I know she'll tell me. And I know she knows."

You shot him a deadly glare. "I don't want to fucking talk about it." You spit.

"Hey hey hey. You know Cap doesn't like that kind of language. And your still 15, you don't need to be dropping F-bombs." He scolds, not so seriously.

You narrowed you gaze, you glare laced with poison as Anger bubbles in your chest. He can't just come be my brother all of the sudden. You turn your back to him. "16." You correct.

"What?" He says softly.

"It's November 23rd Tony." You say monotonously.

He shakes his head in disbelief, running his fingers through his messy brown hair. "No...no it's September. Your birthday is in 5 days."

You scoff. "Cant even keep track of the month. Unbelievable." You mumbled under your breath just loud enough for Tony to hear. "Tony my birthday is October 28th. Your the only one who has it memorized. Not Steve. Not Pepper. You." You raise your voice slightly. "And instead, you got drunk. Like you do every night!"

"I missed your birthday?" Tony's taken back by your words. "Yn im sorry...it's been hard for me..."

"HARD FOR YOU?!" You yell, finally breaking. "IVE HAD TO TAKE CARE IF YOUR DRUNK ASS EVERY NIGHT AND THEN TAKE MYSELF TO BED AND CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP!" Tears sting the eyes are you emotions overwhelmed you, anger and hurt flooding to your core. "I'VE LIVED THE LAST FEW MONTHS TELLING MYSELF I SHOUKD BE ASHAMED FOR EVEN. FUCKING. EXISTING."

"Yn why would you ever think that?" He asks, moving closer to you.

You flinch. Hard.

"Yn...?" His eyes watered as you flinched, his body retracting. "I-I would never hit you."

Your face twisted in disgust while you watched your clueless brother. "You...you TOLD ME that's our parents would have been ashamed!" Your voice cracked. "You told me it was my fault that they...that they died. You know...you talked to me just like they did at Hydra." you shook your head, rushing to your room and slamming the door behind you before Tony could follow.

You were Thankful that Steve, Nat, and Pepper had gone grocery shopping, because right now?

You needed to be alone.

Oh well here I am sneaking past my bEdTimE to write another chapter in either on my books! I literally have published so many chapters in the last 5 days it's unreal. (Between both books) I chose this book because we are just over half way to 1k reads!! What? 400 more to go!!! Anyways! Back to school tmr! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, maybe check out my other book as well! XOXO