𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 | 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐊𝐔

chapter 7

Izuku Midoriya

Both worrisome thoughts filled my mind, wondering if this was my punishment for doing something so selfish, so vile and horrible that could ruin my friend completely. Something that could bruise her forever. Having her newly befriended guy friend engage in dirty things with her boyfriend willingly, the one who you've only known for a day. It was awful, it was terrible even, but it was thrilling.

The feeling of being caught made my heartbeat hasten, and the thrill I felt that day still leaves goosebumps on my skin even now. It was bad I know that, but after I felt his touch, I don't know if I can stop. All night I craved for him, rolling around in my bed endlessly to feel comfortable but I couldn't, everything from that night made me squirm. I wanted to touch him again, I wanted to feel his lips again. Most would say I barely got a wink of sleep; not just because of the itch that I desperately wanted him to soothe, but because of the guilt that weighed on my shoulders like a heavy sack of bricks.

What if she finds out? What if she gets so mad at me that she tells everyone about it? Oh no, what if my mom finds out? Holy shit. Please no, don't let that happen. It's bad enough with Mia but if she finds out I don't know what I'd do.

All she ever talks about is me marrying a nice woman and building a nice family as soon as possible, with the only little time she has to talk with her busy schedule. She never lets me give my opinion on the matter, her words were always absolute no matter what the subject was. She goes on and on about how beautiful my child would be considering my unique looks, and if I married the right one our kid could go far. But if she finds out about my sexuality who knows what'll happen? What if she looks at me differently, what if she's disgusted with me?

I can't let that happen, I really, really can't. I have to stop this little obsession I have with him. I have to stop it before things escalate. Before things get too far to where I don't think I'll be able to stop.

-

I only watched quietly from the back of the classroom as all of his friends greeted him, a piece of me hoping he wouldn't look my way, but an even bigger part of me wanting him to. I know I told myself I had to stop, but just looking at him made the events from yesterday spiral into my lost mind. "I'll try to be more careful next time," he said. I wondered about that, what did he mean by 'next time'? Does he mean they'll be a next time? I thought for sure that was a one-time thing. I shook my head clearing the thought. It doesn't mean anything anymore.

I'm keeping my distance from him now.

It wasn't just me and Mia anymore, it was me Mia, and him now. Even if he wanted to try something; Mia was right next to me so I had nothing to worry about.

So many people knew him here, it wasn't a surprise nevertheless considering how his whole friend group was here. From Tsu to Denki, they were all here. I was confused about how they were so close when they weren't even in the same class before today.

The desperate hope lasted only for so long before Mia spoke, speaking louder than anyone in the classroom. She let out a shriek that drew attention to us instantly making heads turn.

"Katsuki! You're in our class now?" She shouted across the classroom, eyes full of excitement and anticipation happy her beloved boyfriend was now in her class.

The boyfriend I kissed.

My body froze in place as his eyes darted to where we sat. Unable to avert my eyes fast enough before he met mine. He looked at me with knowing eyes, he spoke to me through them, laughing at me even. He was a stranger who knew a secret that could destroy me before I even began, and I could do nothing about it. I could swear he was smirking at me, it felt like I was the only one who could see it and it made me feel humiliated.