TanZen Oneshots

So selfish..

Yeah I'm depressed now so I came back onto Wattpad <3

This story will be highly inspired by my current reality so I'll probs just end up more depressed lmao

Warning! KanaNezu/NezuKana

High school AU
Omfg can I write anything other than modern day? No? Alr.

Angst ig? TW- Self harm
~

POV- Kentaro

Some people don't know who my greatest enemy is. The person I hate the most I'm the entire world. People guess "Muzan!" Sometimes even "Shinazugawa-san!". They're all wrong, but I'll never tell them that.

It's me. The person I hold the deepest hatred for is myself.

Even with all that's good in my life, I hate it. I know, I'm selfish. I have the perfect life, with the perfect parents, the perfect girlfriend, and the perfect friends. I'm even a good-looking guy.

Damn, that sounded so egotistical. Probably because it is.

I'm not even going to try to convince you that I have a bad life because I don't. I've been dating Kanao for 2 1/2 months now. That's not including the little time I broke up with her.

Yes, I broke up with Kanao. Why? I don't know. We only broke up for about 2 weeks before getting back together. Why did I get back with her? Because I'm a selfish bitch. I saw her getting close with someone else and all of a sudden "omg I'm soo in love with her."

I'm being such a player and I hate it. People always say "Tanjiro you're so kind!" If people saw what lies behind this mask I've made they wouldn't be saying anything close to that. It'd be closer to "Go kill yourself Tanjiro."

Now it's time for another bad day at school. Why is it bad? I don't know. It just is. It always is.

I make my way to first hour, it goes by in a breeze. Second hour, same deal. Third hour is what takes a turn. Zenitsu is in my third hour. It's not like we're on bad terms, cause that's definitely not the case.

I'm playing this game with myself. At home, I'll be head over heels in love with Kanao getting the urge to just kiss her. I'll even cuddle my pillow to bed pretending she's in my arms. Damn, I never thought I'd share that shame of mine. Now behold, the girl I wanted to kiss so badly is right in front of me. Nothing. I feel nothing.

It's the same type of thing with my best friend Zenitsu. At home, I convince myself that I love Kanao and I just have a friend crush on Zenitsu. Basically just wanting to be closer to him in a friendly way. At school however, I just love every part of him. He'll do the tiniest thing that he himself probably didn't notice, but I did, and I found it adorable.

I'm done playing these on-off games with myself. I just want it to be over. I want to love Kanao peacefully knowing that no one else will ever love me.

If you even have the audacity to say "oh I'm sure Zenitsu likes you 😊😊" (and yes, 2 emojis). Sure he's come out as bi, but he's dating the girl of his dreams, my sister. Not like he'd like me that way if he wasn't dating her anyways.

Sometimes I just wish that they grew apart and broke up. But, I don't. I don't want Nezuko to cry. That'd be horrible. This is why you need to stop being so selfish Tanjiro.