𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒆𝒎♡︎

IDLMTM

i don't even like myself that much,
so i don't blame him if he feels the same,

used to burn the bridges down but now i let him in,
a year younger with sharp tongue,
i rolled my eyes but i don't think i could hate him,

hate him?
i waited for his reply to my rude dry text pass my night time,

but if he turn around and walk away i wouldn't blame him,
because i don't like myself that much,
my pride and ego,
my self esteem and competitiveness,
my selfishness and my rebounds,
my mistakes and my scars,
my past and present,
there is nothing interesting,
fun,
and
attractive,

so if you walk away without turning back,
i will never hate you for that,
because if i were you,
i would do the same,
but still,
i want you to stay,

stay and pull me close,
stay and tell me we will make it,
stay and never leave,
just stay even though i push you away,
just stay,
but if you don't want to,
the blame's on me,
not you,

who would love a girl like me anyway?
a crying loser,
a dying joker,
a survivor of war who still have a bullet inside her,
who would ever like me the way i am
anyway?