A War on Death

Chapter Four: Memories

The rain stung my cheeks like icicles as I shot through the night. Most nights I would escape to the human realm... to enjoy the humans in their simplest form. To mourn the life I could have lived.

The town's lights were warm and blurry through the weather, music faint beneath the sound of the thunder. I dropped in closer, my feet meeting the soggy ground of the hill overlooking the town. My wings shook as the same pin-pricks of want throbbed in my chest. I envied their lives. Their mortality. Erebus would claim that I'm bloody insane, but I can't help my yearning for a life that I'll never live. My bleary gaze falls on the run-down cabin battling against the waves along the shore. The water slammed against its walls and a train of warm water trickled down my cheek. My tears were bitter and conflicted. My memories were even more so. I envied their lives, yet I was the one who sealed my fate.

The night was warm to my skin, the thin fabric barely covering my body in strips of white cotton. My robe was that of a goddess, though the townsmen would call me a whore.

I stopped softly beside the window, my heart jack hammering with the speed of lightning. I peered over the edge, my eyes finding a woman dancing with a teenage boy only a couple of years younger than me. My mother stopped beside me, her wings and body cloaked in darkness.

I turned my eyes back to the pair, their joyous laughter and careless limbs sparking a pain deep within my chest. The hole in my heart where only a true mother can reside.

Angry tears tore down my face. They dropped into my mouth as hatred began boiling in my veins. A fire-like feeling seared my skin, and, before I could stop myself, I had broken the window, stepping through broken shards as blood pooled beneath my feet.

Her screams echoed as the boy pulled her behind him for protection.

I looked at her through my tears as my heart sang with hope in my chest. The goddess stepped through behind me, watching curiously. "Hi mom," my voice cracked as I smiled.

The boy turned to our mother and asked who I was. I waited, hopeful for her to bring me into her embrace and say what a terrible mistake she had made. Instead she stepped in front of him, glaring at me like I had committed a heinous crime.

She turned to the goddess. "You said you demons would never return." My heart cracked at her words.

"But— mom—"

"Don't call me that!" She bellowed, causing me to falter back. "You are a demon. My daughter died fifteen years ago, and she will stay that way. Dead." My lungs stiffened and crackled in my chest. She can't mean that.

"No. No," I reassured her, smiling at her confusion. "No, she didn't kill me, she only taught me. You're confused, the goddess said I could go back. She said she'd take me to my parents. You're my mom; I'm home." My smile widened as happy tears poured down my face. Home.

"You stupid child!" She screamed making me lurch back, the boy's face parting in shock at her tone. "You are not mine." She looked to the goddess. "You were supposed to kill her. You took her soul for his! What is this?" My eyes shut as a pain struck my abdomen.

"No," I pleaded, stepping closer. "No, you can't mean that." I shook my head again and again, waiting for the part where she would pull me into her embrace. "I'm a child. I'm your child. See?" I gestured to my face which had a striking resemblance to the women in front of me. "I'm just like you!"

"Like you could ever be one of us." She scoffed in disgust, the boys eyes finding mine with sympathy and confusion.

"No, please."