Lonely Souls

Her

A desperate heat wave had been think in the early summer air for the past few days. She wanted out. Out of thus nostalgic and lonely place, out of the sweaty cafe, out of her parents house. She wanted out of her body most days. She was searching for something, and convinced of its absence here, she needed to leave. She had exhausted every possibility of her existence in this small town, convinced of there being nothing else for her, convinced there was something more. More to life, to identity, love, hope, faith, it felt as if there was nothing here at all anymore. For her, at least.
Climbing through obstacles was an inherent pastime for Dj. She felt brave to even try connecting to the people here. Even now, trying to make friends at work by going to an old high school friend;s show with coworkers whom she knew nothing about. After smoking some pot with them in the high school parking lot, they planned to go get drinks before the show. Dj walked. back to her car, sat there for a while, debated going out for drinks and if she even wanted to go to the show. . .
It took a while for her to register that she invited one of them to go with her. Feeling shitty that she wanted to bail, she did anyways and felt it was for the best, they seemed to vibe well with each other any way, she didn't feel needed there.
She went home, after getting food because she had barely eaten anything all day. After taking a hot shower, she climbed into bed, realizing just how sore her body was. She thought about him and cried, it wasn't real love. She knew that now.