Tarlos' Adventure Book: 911 Lone Star One Shots

Both Sides Now

A/N: Inspired by Joni Mitchell's song "Both Sides Now". Get your tissues ready.

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Carlos didn't know what life would be like without his father.

He didn't know if his mother woulder be okay or his sister.

He didn't know what grief felt like on a personal level.

Grieving for him would be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when he needed the person he lost the most. 

He needed his dad to tell him that his son was ready to go back to work.

T.K had told Carlos before that he could take his time but Carlos didn't think he was rready.

"Hey, Lou Two, do you miss your dad? Do you ever wonder if he was saved by someone like you were? Have you ever thought about where he is now? Shit, this is stupid. I am talking to an animal." Carlos rubbed his eyes and blinked away his tears while he was playing with his wedding ring.

"I miss my dad a lot. He was a great man and I only got to tell him that maybe once or twice." Carlos continued as he sat on a chair in front of the creature's tank.

He was all alone. T.K was on a late-night shift and his mother had gone on a well-deserved ladies' trip with some church friends that she bonded with.

Carlos was grieving alone.

He knew that he had T.K and his mother and Owen and his sisters to talk to.

But he physically felt alone in the apartment with Lou Two staring at him.

He needed his person.

"Lou Two, are you lonely? Or tired of feeling alone? Have you ever had a soulmate before? I wonder what it's like sitting in a tank and sitting under a lamp all day. Must be pretty boring. Let me tell you this before I met T.K, I didn't believe in soulmates. I thought that being happy was just some stupid idea and that no one would find me. T.K found me, like how he found you, buddy. He always finds me." Carlos was now sobbing his eyes out and couldn't even see the tank that Lou Two sat in properly.

He needed to cry.

He needed to do it without T.K.

"I guess that I shouldn't be crying. You don't even have a soulmate or know where your dad is and I'm upset about my father who was murdered. I'm comparing your trauma to mine. Lou Two, I don't know if you can hear my bud. I want to tell you that you are never alone. You got us. T.K and I are your family." Carlos says to Lou's tank as if he's trying to comfort himself and Lou Two.

"We're going to find out who did this to your grandpa, okay? You hear me Lou Two. We are going to get back at them." Carlos wiped his eyes with his fingers then carefully took the lid off of Lou's cage so that he could pick him up.

He knew about the incident that happened last time that caused him nightmares.

But losing Lou Two was the least of his worries.

He just needed someone to hold onto, even if it was a slimy creature that made T.K the happiest man in the world.

"I'll be your soulmate. It's okay. I know things are hard right now." Lou Two laid on Carlos's shirt and didn't budge a bit.

It was weird but it was also like Lou Two was his emotional support animal.

"I've looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, and still somehow, it's love's illusions I recall." Carlos pat Lou Two's back and put him back on his rock carefully.