Unfinished Business

27

I sat with Wyatt in the emergency room until he could finally be seen for his hand. Thankfully, he only needed a couple of stitches, but since he was so intoxicated, they gave him a banana bag to try and sober him up. That was three hours ago, and he fell asleep after his stitches were in place and the pain medicine kicked in.

The entire time, he wouldn't look at me. Not once.

It's not that I blame him. I understand why he's upset with me, and seeing Parker tonight just brought back all of those emotions he was forced to stow away when he never got closure. I was so ashamed of myself after that night that I never saw him again. I left him like he was nothing the very next day.

Night after night in my tiny dorm room in New York I'd lie awake trying to remember what happened that night. How was I supposed to talk to Wyatt again if I couldn't explain myself? That's partly the reason I never returned to Darlington. Even when I lost my job and the only thing on my mind was him, I made myself remain miserable in the city because what was the point? I'd show up in the middle of the night outside of his door and say what? Please forgive me for cheating? I don't know how it happened, but it did? I'd look like an absolute fool.

That damn ring he gave me remained in my pocket for an entire year. I thought about sending it back to him plenty of times, but he wanted me to have it, and I guess I held onto it because I thought that someday we'd rekindle what I had destroyed and I'd be able to wear it one day.

But now, sitting here beside the beeping of the monitor threatening to lull me to sleep, I have a giant pit in my stomach growing larger with every second that passes.

That look on Wyatt's face when he saw Parker... I thought there was a chance he had moved on from what we did, and I let myself believe that fantasy while we were together, but so much is different now. He doesn't call me darlin' like he used to, he hasn't said I love you yet, either, and although I know it might be too soon to rush into those things, I can see the reluctance that he has every right to have, but now that Parker is back, I'm not sure if we'll be able to make this work.

Tugging my legs into my chest, I shift uncomfortably in the chair just as Wyatt begins to blink his eyes open. He stirs and lets out a groan, but I'm already awake and alert again, sitting ramrod straight, unsure of how to greet him.

"Hi," I whisper like an idiot. "Are you feeling any better?"

He shrugs, lifting his hand up to inspect the damage. There's a bandage wrapped around his knuckles and palm, and he winces when he tries to bend his fingers. "Did I at least get him good?"

I scoff. "Wyatt, what happened that night wasn't entirely his fault. I'm to blame for this, too, not just him."

He narrows his eyes. "You were drunk that night Macey. Timmy said you were plastered. He had no right to take advantage of you like that, and I'm getting real tired of you defending him."

"I'm not defending him, but I'm saying I don't remember what happened." What if I coerced him into it? What if he didn't want to sleep with me, but I enticed him? "Maybe he was drunk, too."

"I don't give a damn if he was or wasn't. He knew better than to sleep with you. He knew how much you meant to—"

"Meant?" I ask in a choked whisper.

The beeping of the monitor is the only thing filling the silence between us, and like my gut had its own intuition, Wyatt clears his throat. Aside from the light seeping in from outside the door, it's pitch black in the room, but I can still make out his glassy eyes.

"Macey, tonight was a real eye-opener for me. I thought after all this time I could forget about what happened years ago. I desperately want to move on from it, but seeing you with him a few hours ago..." He shudders a breath. "I can't forget about it no matter how much I may want to. You hurt me so damn badly that I didn't even know who I was for a while there. I did things that were unlike me, was rude to people I've loved since I was a kid, and I used Caroline to try and fill a void you left in my life, and she didn't deserve that."

I remain silent with my hands folded in my lap, tears streaming down my cheeks. I won't beg him to stay. Not when I'm the reason for all of this. I knew there'd be a chance this wouldn't work between us, and he has every right to walk away if it's too much. I'm not going to be selfish and make him feel bad about it.

"Maybe we started this too soon. I don't hate you, Macey, and after having you back in town I realize I never could, but the way I felt when Parker stepped right beside you... I can't go through that pain a second time. I can't. I won't be able to survive it if you leave me again."

I'd never leave him again. He's the only man I think of. The only man I want to be with, but I understand why he can't trust me. I got drunk at a party and threw away everything we'd built in a single night, so I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to confuse him and mess with his head.

I deserve the pain I'm feeling. Every shred of my heart, every ounce of hope crashing down... Life threw the pain I dished out to him right back in my face, so I can't even be upset. I knew karma would come around eventually.

"You have every right to walk away," I say quietly, my bottom lip trembling. "You are an incredible man, Wyatt, and you deserve a girl who will always put you first. All I can tell you is that I am so sorry for the mistake I made, and I wish I could explain myself better. I wish I could walk you through my thought process that night, but I...I can't, and that frustrates me as much as it probably frustrates you. Just please, please don't let me affect your future happiness. You deserve all of the love in the world, and I hate that I ruined your trust. I hate it more than anything."

He sniffles, and the sound nearly breaks my heart all over again. "I really wanted it to be you."

"I wanted it to be me, too." Leaning over to squeeze his hand, I stand from the chair and let out a deep breath. "I'll call Loretta to come and pick me up. You should be released in the morning. I'll leave the keys for your truck."

"Macey." He calls my name as I'm rummaging around in my purse, waiting until I lift my eyes to his. "Don't leave Darlington. I don't carry any anger towards you anymore, and I won't be the same as when you first got here. So many people are excited about this fashion show you're putting on here for charity, and I don't want them to be disappointed if you leave because of me."

I smile softly. Ironic since it's the exact opposite of how I'm feeling internally, but despite his reluctance to be in this relationship now, that doesn't mean I've lost my shot entirely. We rushed into this too soon, and I made the mistake of leaving him before. I'm not giving up on him just yet, but I will respect his decision to remain friends.

I'm heartbroken, but that sliver of hope is still there, and I don't think it'll ever go away. If it's not him, it's not anyone, so I have to have some kind of hope to hang onto.

"I'm not going to leave," I tell him. "As much as I've tried to fight it tooth and nail, this is my home, too, and I'm not going anywhere."

He seems somewhat shocked by that the way his lips part, but then he forms them into a thin line and gives me a subtle nod of his head.

Being here without being able to touch him, the unknown of whether or not he's going to rush right back into Caroline's arms is terrifying. But I have to look on the bright side, or I'll crumble into a pile of nothing. For now, we're friends, and that's more than I ever thought I would be with him after I broke his heart, so I'll take what I can get.

Regardless of whether or not that means I'll destroy myself in the process.