(POV: the anemo boys in a zombie apocalypse but Wanderer and Xiao decided to go with the girls instead cause they knew it'd be a shit show if they stayed with the others which is why they aren't here)
Venti: What's wrong?!
Venti: Show me your arm
Kazuha: It's nothing-
Venti: SHOW IT!
Kazuha: Fine!
Venti: He got bit.. he got bit!
Venti: HE GOT BIT! HE GOT BIT!!!!
Heizou: Calm down! Calm down! Calm down! Just calm down, calm down!
Aether: Put the gun down now!
Venti, pointing a gun at Kazuha: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! HE GOT BIT!
Kazuha: No!
Venti: DON'T WORRY IMMA MAKE THIS QUICK IMM MAKE IT QUICK IMMA MAKE IT QUICK!!!
Heizou: THAT'S YOUR FRIEND!
Venti: HE AIN'T MY FRIEND NO MORE!
Heizou: HE IS YOUR FRIEND YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!
Venti: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY
Venti: "Keep your enemies close and your friends D E A D."
Heizou: THAT AIN'T WHAT THEY SAY!
Venti: I can't do it
Heizou: GIVE ME THE GUN
Venti: NO!
*insert more screaming, Heizou trying to take the gun, and Kazuha groaning*
*BANG*
Venti, Heizou: ...
Heizou: WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM?!
Venti: I DIDN'T SHOOT HIM!
Aether: I did.
Heizou: WHY?!
Aether: I just got scared! He was twitchin' and he was like "AAAAAAHHGGGGGHHHH"-
*bang*
Heizou: ?!
Heizou: WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM?! HE WAS EXPLAINING!
Venti: Oh he weren't-?
Heizou: NO!
Venti: Oh I thought-
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(POV: Kaveh is drunk)
Kaveh, about Alhaitham: WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE A BODY THAT WANTS TO BANG YOU UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN
Kaveh: BUT THEN A FACE THAT WANTS TO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING?!
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(POV: the abyss family game night)
Aether: Name something a Treasure Hoarder wouldn't want to see when he breaks into a house
Aether: Lumine!
Lumine: NAKED ABYSS MAGE
Aether: Nake- HUH?!
Dainsleif: I wouldn't wanna see that either
(Lumine gets a correct answer)
Lumine: WOWOOOOOOOHHHH!!! ABYSS MAGE!
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(POV: fanon mika)
Kaeya: "Hentai vs furries"? Nah who has that game
Kaeya: If anyone in my friends has tha- wH- wha???
Kaeya: MIKA?! MIKA?!
Kaeya: YOU'RE LIKE 15-16 BRO?????
