{◇Sabigiyuu Oneshots◇}

{◇Please...◇}

⚠️TW⚠️
•MANY MENTIONS OF SELF HARM•
•SUICIDE ATTEMPT•
•PANIC ATTACKS•
•MENTIONS OF MURDER•
•MENTIONS OF ABUSE/DEATH•
IF THOSE THINGS TRIGGER YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER <3

Suffering was something Giyuu was all to familiar with. First his parents, then his sister, then the people at the mental hospital, his own conditions...it made his life feel impossible. Giyuu had just dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom to get changed when he saw it. The thing that caused him the most pain but the most relief at the same time. His razor. He had been 2 months clean and did not want to disappoint Sabito by reopening his cuts, but he felt as though it was the only escape. He would have gone to Sabito to talk to him but his boyfriend was on duty right now and couldn't come to his help. It would be selfish of him to ask for help when he is already busy. Giyuu stared at the razor for a few more seconds as his mind played back all his trauma he had experienced.

Flashback:

" Hey giyuu?"

"Yes nee-san?"

"Remember how mommy and daddy went on a trip?"

"Yea..."

"Well..um...mommy and dady got lost on their trip and..they aren't coming home..."
Tsutako had said this with tears in her eyes and even as a child, Giyuu knew exactly what that meant. His parents didn't get lost. They died. Giyuu continued to be raised by Tsutako for the next 9 years. Tsutako had even gotten a boyfriend who turned fiancé. Their life finally seemed to be getting on track until the night before her wedding. As Giyuu was walking down the hall to go to bed he heard screams coming from his sisters room.

"PLEASE! PLEASE NO! I LOVED YOU HOTARU!"

"I know that Tsu. That's why I have to do this."
Giyuu poked his head into the room and looked through the crack. He saw his sisters figure sitting on the ground and sobbing with tears pouring down her face. She continued to talk and said

"What...what do you mean Hotaru"

"I'm sorry Tsu"
With that, Hotaru stabed Tsutako Tomioka right through the chest. Giyuu who was still watching through the door stood their wide eyed in horror with tears streaming down his face. Hotaru came out of the room with tears also falling down his face and asked

"Oh Giyuu...I tried to stop her...but she killed herself. I'm so sorry..."
Giyuu knew what he saw. Tsutako didn't kill herself. Hotaru did.

"NO! YOU KILLED HER! SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT! YOU LIAR!"

"Oh my...you must ve seeing things. You know that's one of the earliest signs of schizophrenia right? We should take you to a mental hospital to get you checked out."

"What..?"

"Come on let's go."
Hotaru grabbed the small boys arm very aggressively and dragged the small boy out to his car. Giyuu spent the entire ride to the hospital questioning everything. When they got their, Hotaru dropped him off and explained to the front desk receptionist "what happened". She said her goodbyes to Hotaru then took Giyuu up to his room. From there on for the next year, he was subject to mental, physical, and verbal abuse. He could remember talking out of turn once and being deprived of food for a week. It felt impossible until his new caretaker arrived. His name was Sanjokiri Urokodaki. He took pity on the young boy and helped him to escape to somewhere safe. He took Giyuu to a foster faimly thinking it would help, however he was only subjected to more abuse. Once he turned 18, he was out of there just a quick as he went in to the foster faimlys life. He would follow their rules even when they were thousands of miles apart such as no speaking or get hit, do exactly what they say and clean up after everyone or else they will hate you. Giyuu continued to live by these until he met Sabito. Sabito turned his life upsidown and helped him see what was right for him and the good side. He helped Giyuu eat when he needed to instead of waiting for everyone else to finish and eat leftovers. He helped with feeling alive agian.

Flashback end

Giyuu stopped staring at the razor and picked it up. He pressed it on his skin, angled it and slid it across. It was his way of continuing the abuse people had taught him he deserved. He whole body was begging him to stop as his ears started ringing and his vision blurred. He kept cutting until his arms were practicaly shredded and there was blood running into the sink. He just stared at his arms for a second still processing what he had done, when he knew what to do next. He reached into the cabinet and pulled out his medication bottle. He opened it up and took a deep breath as he took at least triple his prescribed dose out and held it in his blood covered hands. He had just tipped his head back to swallow them when the bathroom door burst open. The ringing in his ears stopped and he turned his head to see Sabito, his eyes wide and tears pouring down his face.

"Giyuu....put those down right now."
Giyuu didn't listen to him and kept raising his hand up to his mouth to take them. They both knew this amount of medication could kill him in minutes. Sabito ran over to him and knocked the pills out of his hands then picked them up off the floor and threw them away. Giyuu seemed to snap back to reality and he looked down at his arms. His eyelids became droopy and waterey and Sabito came over and wrapped him in a hug as Giyuu felt his while body start to shake. He felt his breathing speed up and become uneven. He couldn't even hear anymore. He started to apologize to Sabito repeatedly as his legs gave out from underneath him. Sabito caught him and looked into his wide eyes.

"Shhh...shhh...it's ok Yuu...I got you...shhhh....I'm not going anywhere ok?"
Sabito continued to reassure Giyuu as he gently rubbed his back and rocked back and forth. Soon Giyuu's choked sobs and wheezes of breath turned into softer sobs with gasps for air in-between. Sabito continued to reassure and comfort him until he remembered the bleeding on his arms and wrists.

"Yuu, sweetie...I have to clean these cuts for you so they don't get worse."
Giyuu nodded with his face still stuffed into Sabito's chest. Sabito stood up helping his boyfriend to stand as well. Well I say helped him stand but he pretty much picked him up. Sabito puts Giyuu's arms under warm water and gently scrubbed them. When Giyuu would wince in pain, Sabito would respond with a kiss on the cheek or the back of the neck. After he rinsed them, he sat Giyuu down and pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and told him,

"This is going to sting a bit ok?"

"Mhm."
Giyuu braced himself as Sabito squeezed his hand reassuringly. Sabito poured some of the alcohol on to a towel and said,

"OK I'm going to wipe your arms on 1 alright baby? OK. 3...2...1."
Once he reached one Sabito did a quick wipe down of Giyuu's arm and repeated the countdown and wipe on the other arm. Giyuu winced in pain as his arms burned and tears fell down his face. Sabito looked at him sadly and kissed each of his cheeks to try and make him feel better. He stood up and got some guaze pads and bandages to wrap his lovers arms up. Sabito sat back down and gently put a guaze pad on the cuts then wrapped it tightly with the softer bandages. He did it carefully, quickly and precisely so he would not cause Tomioka more pain. Giyuu still had tears falling down his face and small sniffs and winces here and there but he was no longer having a panic attack. Sabito finished bandaging Giyuu and he held his hands and asked,

"Why...?"

"i...i don't want to talk about it..."
Giyuu said so quietly Sabito could hardly hear him. He nodded in response and scooped Giyuu up and carried him to bed.

"Please don't leave this bed tonight Yuu..."
Sabito got no response other than Giyuu's gentle snores and sniffs every now and then. Sabito sighed and kissed the top of Giyuu's head.

"Good night sweetheart. I got you always."

Ren: Thanks so much for reading! If you struggle with suicidal thoughts or self harm please seek help from a trusted adult or call your local suicide hotline. Also feel free to vent in the comments if necessary. <3

Thanks for reading!
Word Count: 1498
- Ren