Time (Sunki)

08

Niki had listened carefully to the stories the other people in the room were telling.

For example, a girl related how (a year ago) some of her ex-classmates bullied her every day for being a little overweight and having pimples on her face typical of puberty. They beat her and insulted her to death, and when she finally decided to ask one of her teachers for help, she called her a liar and said that she was only envious of the others for being thin.

''TOTALLY ABSURD HOW COULD PEOPLE BE SO STUPID?'' Niki thought angrily.

One day the girl got so fed up with her situation that she had contemplated ending her life. She didn't give details of how she planned to do it, but she did say that she stopped because of a message that her mother sent her at that precise moment: "Darling, it's very cold out there, come home before you catch a cold." She thought of her mother and the deep pain that would leave her if she died that day. So she decided to go home and confess to her what was happening at school, before she hadn't told her for fear that she wouldn't believe it.

Since then, her mother was accompanying her throughout her recovery process and now she felt better physically and psychologically, but still had many insecurities when it came to socializing and that is why she was in the support group.

Niki managed to empathize with the girl, but he too was envious that she had a mother who really wanted to support her while he...didn't have the same.

On the other hand, there was an old man who felt very lonely after the death of his wife and although he had never had thoughts of ending his life, he did feel discouraged all the time because she had been his only company since his children grew up and moved to different countries, now that his wife was gone forever... he no longer felt motivated to do anything. His children were really worried about his situation and since they all lived abroad they had thought of selling the house where the man lived in order to put him in a nursing home so that other people could take care of him and they would get rid of the problem. That only made him sadder because he felt useless and a problem. One morning when he came back to buy his pills he saw the group's announcement and decided to join to try to ease his pain a little.

Niki's heart clenched when he saw the man cry while he told his story, which made him reflect a lot on the feelings of older people, something he had never done until now.

It was his turn and all eyes were on him.

''It's your turn to share with us'' The leader of the group, Kim Seokjin, spoke with a friendly smile and an understanding voice. ''You can trust us.''

The brunette bit his lips and looked down, he wasn't sure how to start or what he should say.

''My name is Nishimura Niki.'' He began nervously, ''I'm sixteen years old and..''

He took a long pause, he was struggling to find the words to express what he felt.

His hands were shaking and he was moving his leg because of the anxiety he felt at that moment. He didn't understand why it was so difficult for him to tell his story or how to assuage the fear he felt. However, he remembered Sunoo's words about the purpose of being there and accepting the pain was the first step in letting it go. So he took a breath and courage to continue.

"I feel guilty about my brother's death and my mother's depression, I feel guilty all the time and I think that everyone would be better off if I didn't exist," he confessed aloud, something he thought he could never do.

Sunghoon gave him a small smile from his seat, as if he was proud that Niki could put into words something so deep and stormy. Niki wasn't sure why, but the gesture kept him going. A new sigh left his lips and then...