I love you, so I forgive you.

ILYsoIFY 22

"Hey aren't you the girl on Jlo's latest instagram picture?" I get snapped out of my thoughts and look who's talking to me. Who the hell is this.. It's like the 100th time someone is asking me about Jen today.

School is going crazy about the fact that I've met Jennifer and that she even posted a pic on her instagram. And I don't blame them! It's been so crazy and awesome! But I mean, just, chill out people, she's also just a person and it's not like I'm her now or whatever. I'm just the same old boring girl from school that no one will ever remember later.

I can't understand why they suddenly are all so excited... Everyone has been staring at me all day, girls are suddenly starting a convo with me and my instagram is exploding with followers.. I'm glad I only had 5 classes today. That's my shortest day in the week! But tomorrow I have 8 classes...

Let's hope they're over it by then and find me less interesting than they did today. I can't stand all the jealous and curious eyes staring at me all day. Not to talk about the conversations with complete strangers..

Meeting Jennifer is the second best thing that has happened to me in a long time, Nathan is the best thing of course, but I didn't expect everybody to overreact like this..  I can't really enjoy this much attention of everyone. Any other girl would have loved to be the centre of attention but I don't.

Just give me Jazmin and I'm happy. Gotta go call her by the way.. She wasn't at school today. The other girls were wondering where she was too. Meghan and Bailey were freaking out cuz they wanted to know all the details about Jaz's date with Shannon.

I walk out of the locker's room and start heading home. I'm completely in my thoughts when a girl around my age comes running towards me, screaming.

What  theee.....?? Is the last thing I think. The next moment I'm laying on the ground. All I see above me is a circle of heads. My sight is very blurry.

Damn she must have hit me hard! Who was she anyway? And why did she do that?? "Ah look she's awake!" I hear a girl in the background whisper. "Hey are you okay?" A guy asks me. I try to sit up straight instead of lying down. "Yeah, I'm fine.. I guess.. Who was that chick who did this to me? Did anyone recognize her?" I ask. Nobody answers. Great.

They help me to stand back on my feet again and they ask if I'm alright. I thank them and start walking home. Jason, Nathan's cousin, follows me. "Wait, you can't go like this! Let me call someone for you! What's your mom's number?" Ouch.. That hurts.. More than I want it to..

"Uhmm.. I don-" I stumble. "-Oh shit... Sorry Riley, I knew that.. I'm really sorry.." Jason interrupts me. "It's fine.. Really." I try to smile. "Well let me call your aunt then." "That's sweet. Thanks." I give him Christie's number. Not because I couldn't have just walked home, but because I'm having hard times getting something useful out of my mouth right now.

I feel like if I need to talk any more longer I will burst into tears. So I just put her number in his phone and give his phone to him so he can make the call for me.

I hear Christie's worried voice on the other side of the line and I'm feeling sorry to make her worried like this, I mean, I'm fine, I'm okay.. I just can't talk right now and my head aches.

After 10 minutes already I see Christie's car arriving. "Thanks for your help Jason, I appreciate it a lot." I smile and give him a soft hug. "Thanks for the good care!" Christie tells Jason. He wishes the best to me, greets Christie and then walks to his own car.

"Gosh Rye, what happened to you?" Christie asks. "Honestly, I have NO idea.. Please don't ground me, it wasn't my fault! I didn't even know the girl!" I beg Christie to not get mad at me. She keeps silent for a moment. Then she looks at me and says "Honey.. I see no reason to get mad at you for this, you're a good kid, I know you wouldn't get into a fight like this. Why would I want to ground you baby? You're the victim here!"

"Oh.. I- I know, but I... I just thought you'd think it was me who started but I didn't." "Did these things happened before?" Christie asks. "Uhm, yeah, like, a lot." "Kids really did beat you up at school before?" "Yup.. Because I was an outsider.. Because I had a hard time talking about my feelings since my mom died. That's why I changed schools 2 years ago."

"And your dad would punish you because you was beaten up?" I can hear she's trying to controll her voice. "Yeah, because he thought I was the bad guy. He thought since mom died that I had become some kind of rude troublemaker. So when I got home with blood or whatever on my face, dad would lock me up in my room without any food or water and I just had to be there until the next morning..."

"Oh honey..! I never knew! Why didn't you tell me before?! I could have helped you!!" "I didn't want to loose another parent. He was all I had." "Oh baby you must be glad it's all over now! Your dad is doing amazing in rehab and he's sweet to you now. I'm sure he'll stay that way once het got home! We're gonna find a job for him and he'll be back on track!"

"And if you still want to live with me, we can give you a bedroom in my house so you can come over sometimes! We can arrange something! But only if you want to.. I just want you to feel safe."

"Thanks Christie, I'd love to." I'm relieved she proposed this idea. I do know my dad is recovering and he'll be the good old dad he used to be before mom died, but I'm already getting dizy by the thought of living with him 24/7 again. So it's good I can live with Christie too. She's the best aunt ever!!