Together Forever, Always

All The Small Things

Song Inspo: All The Small Things ~ Blink-182

Say it ain't so

I will not go

Turn the lights off

Carry me home

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"Are you sure you're okay?" Kai asks while carrying a shivering Beomgyu on his back. They had been clowning around in the park a few blocks from Kai's house on this chilly winter day and were just simply having fun on what they thought was solid ice. Come to find out, it wasn't solid and Beomgyu fell right through. Kai was both shocked and amused to see his friend screeching and jumping out comically like a dolphin in some viral video you see on social media. He was completely soaked to the bone.

"I'm f-fine, I just need to c-change clothes asap," Beomgyu says, teeth chattering like no tomorrow. Despite knowing how cold Beomgyu must feel, Kai can't say it's the same for him. The feeling of the older's arms wrapped around him and Beomgyu's breathing on his neck has his body all warm and tingly. Sure, they've been close like this before, but this time feels different, especially after Kai's noticed he's been having strange feelings for his long time best friend.

Kai can't pinpoint when it started, but he can't deny that those feelings keep growing stronger and stronger as time goes. He didn't understand them at first, chalking it up to him being childish and clingy, just wanting his best friend all to himself as most friends do at certain stages of their friendships. But it was the small things that he started to notice, the way he felt whenever Beomgyu would look at him and smile brightly, the way he felt when Beomgyu touched his arm or knee during a conversation with their other friends. That warm fuzzy feeling whenever Beomgyu would talk to him like he was the only person who mattered in this world.

Sometimes there would be a silent moment spent together of them just staring into each other's eyes and Kai would feel the intense urge to press his lips against Beomgyu's, but he never had the guts to actually do it. He was scared that if he did his best friend would reject him and never speak to him again. While Kai knows Beomgyu swings the same way as him when it comes to dating preferences, that doesn't necessarily mean Kai has a solid chance. So he's kept his feelings hidden, well at least the best he could anyway.

Whenever he'd see Beomgyu taking interest in other men, he'd feel that bitter ache in his chest and hoped that things wouldn't work out between them because he honestly felt like that should be him. Jealousy doesn't and never suited anyone. There were many times when Kai would get upset and not talk to Beomgyu for days because of it, and it always left Beomgyu lost and confused, wondering what he did to anger his always kind and happy friend. And when Kai would sit down and reflect, he'd feel regretful and guilty for treating him that way knowing it's only Kai's fault that he's never honest with his feelings.

Why should Beomgyu suffer through Kai's mood swings, he doesn't deserve that. And so Kai had to learn how to accept that maybe he and Beomgyu will always just be friends, as much as he wished that could change, it's the reality he must deal with. But maybe that wouldn't be so bad because Beomgyu honestly has been the bestest friend he's ever had in all his twenty-two years of living on this Earth. He would never jeopardize his relationship with Beomgyu for something as stupid like feelings.

He recalls all the fond memories he has of Beomgyu when they first met, how loud and obnoxious they were as a duo, causing havoc and headaches in their friend group. They got along so well at the start, feeding off of each other's energy and playing well together. It was always like that, there was never a dull moment whenever they were together, even now.