Issues

51

Self harm thoughts
.

2 years later.

I close my eyes and I blow out the candle on my cupcake.

"Ahhh happy birthday baby," Bianca says to me while giving me a quick little hug.

"Thank you," I say with a slight smile on my face.

"Ready to hit the club?" She asks me. I let out a slight sigh.

"Is it cool if I stay back? You and the rest can head out" I tell her.

"Bitch, it's literally your birthday, that's why we're going out?!" She utters. "And why aren't you wearing the dress I gave you?" Bianca questions. I fidget with my top sleeves.

"Because it's sleeveless and you know I don't wear sleeveless tops or dresses" I explain to her once again.

Ever since I left Italy two years ago nothing has been the same. At first, it all consisted of me laying in bed crying, taking a shower, cutting myself, and laying back down.

There hasn't been a day where I was clean for more than 24 hours. Not anymore for that matter.

"Fine then at least wear any dress of your choice from my closet" she insists. I slowly nod my head and get up from the couch. "And hurry, Theo and Ezra, are coming soon." Bianca reminds me.

"Yeah yeah, whatever" I have fixed most of my problems, as in my attitude, and my body... Except for one thing.

I walk into the closet and grab one random dress and walk out. I locked myself in my bathroom and began to take off my top and my pants.

I stare at myself in such disappointment. My arm is filled with scars. Healed ones and fresh.

I feel ugly.

I am mad at myself that I let it get this bad. I wipe the tear off my face and put on the dress. Okay, maybe Bianca has a somewhat good style.

I moisturize my legs and fix my hair and makeup. I straighten out the dress and get one more good look. Despite the sleeves being net, you can't see the scars. "Amora!" I hear a man shout "Hurry the fuck up!" he shouts again.

Theo.

That son of a bitch.

I unlock the bathroom door and open it wide. I go to my bedroom and grab a pair of heels and a pearl necklace with my initial on it. I make my way down and immediately make eye contact with Theo.

I dropped my heels and hold the necklace in front of him. He understood immediately and grabs the necklace from me. I turn around moving my hair. I feel the necklace around my neck and left the backdrop meaning he clipped it already.

"You look hot," Theo whispers in my ear. "Happy birthday baby" he whispers again before stepping back.

"Happy birthday Amora" Ezra says giving me a little hug

"Thank you" I smile at him.

"You do look stunning" Bianca cuts in.

"appreciate it" I smile.

"All right time to hit the club!" Theo shouts behind us. "Come on, our bitch is 20, we have to celebrate" Theo winks.

I sit on the kitchen stool and began to place on my heels, "you guys head out, me and Amora will be there shortly" Ezra says to them.

Bianca nods, but Theo was a little skeptical, I signal to him it was fine, and that's when he left as well. "So what's going on between you and Theo?" Ezra questions.