Chapter Twenty-Six: Inej pt. 1

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When a knock sounded at her door, Inej still wasn't ready. She glanced around at the lavish furnishings of the room Dawa had set her up in. The four-postered bed, the silk curtains, the gold-trimmed glass doors leading to a balcony. They had cut no costs on anything in this Monastery and it made Inej wonder what other income sources Dawa had to have.

Inej allowed a breath more of stalling before she finally pushed herself from an armchair and reached for the door. She wanted to shut it again when she saw the anxiety dripping from Jesper's face. She didn't want the confirmation, didn't want to have this confrontation with him.

But she needed the truth. Needed to know why her man had to die today.

With a shake of her head, Inej stepped away from the door and let him in. Originally, she had planned to stand tall and simply ask him the question, but she was too tired. Instead, she just slumped onto the plush bed and waited for him to speak.

Jesper shut the door behind him and whistled at the room. "They're really treating you nice here. You'd think you were the Taban Queen herself." His smile was easy and his shoulders were pushed back in their normal, relaxed posture. But for all his ability to act the cocky jokester, Inej still saw all the same things she did when they had first met.

She saw his eyes that shifted from place to place, never landing on anything. She saw his feet shuffle back and forth on the fur-skinned rug. Saw the way his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

When Kaz had first brought her back to the Slat, she'd been riding on a cloud of freedom. But, once she'd reached the dank, crooked building, new fears had started rising. She entered yet another building full of dirty men, scum of the barrel, who all leered at her while she walked past. None of them dared say anything to her when she was following the coattails of the great Dirtyhands, but she could see it in all of their eyes. Heard the silent snickers of those who thought Kaz had paid for her for less than reputable reasons.

Jesper had been the first person to actually smile at her. He'd only been there a few months longer than her but he walked right up to them and introduced himself. He'd seemed carefree and confident, so self-assured as he cracked joke after joke to make her feel comfortable. She had envied that about him, but in truth, she was just grateful that someone there was being nice to her. It had been a long time since she'd felt that. Human decency.

Kaz had left her with Jesper to get her settled claiming he had business to get to. She'd only just met Kaz, but he had saved her from that horrid brothel. Saved her from more years of nightmares. She supposed she was hurt that this man then suddenly just handed her off without a second glance and it must have showed on her face. Jesper saw the look and suddenly his face sobered. He nudged her arm with an elbow.

"Don't mind him," he'd told her with a sly smile on his face— a smile she couldn't help but try to return. "He's gruff, has no social skills, and would probably kill a kitten if it looked at him funny. But if you can put up with that, you'll find no better a crew leader or man to have at your side in a fight."

Watching him talk, seeing the gleam in his eyes, Inej thought someone could read the admiration on his face from Ravka. But behind that, she started to see a sadness. A hungry need for acceptance, attention, recognition. The more he talked to her that night the more she saw it hidden behind every cavalier smile and bawdy joke. She'd become good at reading people during her time at the Menagerie. She was good at seeing the things men wanted and the things they hid. Jesper tried hiding it as well, and to others maybe he did, but to her, all she saw was a kid who was hurting. A kid scared of others finding out the truth of him.

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