Combination [ST & JP]

#8: The Steven Guitar

I wrote this last summer when it was too hot in my room and I couldn't sleep so I guess that's an excuse for breaking the writer's fourth wall. It's not even that smutty, compared to previous stuff. It's just really weird, and inspired by the one and only, Billie Guitar.

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Now, you may be wondering why Joe Perry was red with rage and yet the one down on his knees yanking out Steven Tyler's penis to wrap his lips around.

Of course you may not, in which case, you can stop reading now.

However, if you're a curious soul, or just genuinely bored and for whatever reason are reading a new update, then you might want some details of how that situation might have cum about.

Picture this: Steven has gifted you a guitar because he simply loves the life out of you. You are, obviously, Joe in this case and Joe plays guitar so, yeah, that works.

Said guitar was something like a thousand dollars, custom Gibson, and all in all, a priceless piece of craftsmanship.

Nice, right?

Yeah, wrong.

Well, not technically wrong, but it had quite a substantial problem with the design.

Why, you ask?

Steven Tyler's face. It had Steven Victor Tallarico, Steven Tally, The Demon of Screamin', whatever-you-want-to-call this-man's goddamn face on it.

Yep. You read that right.

The Steven Guitar.

Now, picture this: It's concert night and Steven forced you to take THE STEVEN GUITAR as he declared it so proudly, in your arsenal to play during the encore AT THE VERY LEAST.

(Capital letters are because Steven has a loud voice. He also types in them on all of his social media accounts.)

You are, of course, still Joe, and you/Joe also love Steven very much, but his nagging and enthusiasm does piss you off a lot, even if you've learned to put up with him your whole life and have got pretty good at ignoring him.

So anyway, the concert in Minneapolis happens, The Steven Guitar was indeed played for the very first time during the encore which means it was sure to make headlines in the next few days, but it wasn't just the outrageous guitar design that might be slapped on the front page of a rock magazine and gain a few laughs or "what the fucks?"

It was how Steven performed around Joe whilst The Steven Guitar was slung across his body that was most concerning, and any videos that made it into the world might need to be locked in a vault never to be seen again.

(Yo, Pam and Tommy writers! Where you at!? *Edit, I must've finished watching Pam and Tommy and made a link to their sex tape being stolen from the safe 💀)

To put it simply, and you'll have to use your imagination here...STEVEN CROUCHED DOWN RUBBING HIS MIC STAND BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND SNOGGED HIS OWN FACE WHILST JOE SOLOED WALK THIS FUCKING WAY.

(Walk this way* 'Fucking' isn't explicitly in the title, but it might as well be with how iconic the riff is.)

So, that happened and Joe didn't really know what to think, but it got the crowd going, apparently Steven too (which was a bit...self gay?) and he still managed his solos as usual, if a little put off by the saliva that shined on his instrument.

Aerosmith continued their short US tour and The Steven Guitar kept being played because it was a demand from Steven, and Joe would lose his voice if he kept yelling back gay insults when he was gay with the man he was yelling at. BUT, his argument was because Steven kept doing WEIRDER shit around him and it was honestly a bit concerning.