All i see is him

6-the aftermath

Oliver

"oh shit," Taylor shouts.
I wake up and realise Cooper and I are above the covers naked. I rush the duvet over us. "Uh sorry."
"I did not need to see that," Taylor says in disgust. I go red, I turn to see Cooper is still asleep.
"Why are you in here," I ask.
"I was trying to make sure you were okay after last night but I'm guessing you are" We both look at each other.
"So is this a thing," she asks.
I don't know what to say "Umm I don't think so, we were very drunk."
"Well mum is gonna come down any minute so u better look sober, tell her your ill and I'm she won't make you get out of bed" Taylor leaves the room.

I stand up and find some clean underwear and put them on. I make sure the duvet is wrapped around Cooper so he looks like he isn't naked and then I crawl into bed. As I close my eyes Mum walks in, "are you up" she shouts. I open my eyes like I just woke up and look at her. "Oh dear are you okay," she asks.
"Oh yeah I just feel sick"
"Mhm sure you're sick after that party"
I roll my eyes.
"Well stay down here, Doris and Angela are coming over for lunch" she storms out with a scoff.

Well, she knows. I'm not too sure what exactly happens last night but I know we did something.
I go to the bathroom and grab a glass of water, I still don't feel sober. Once I get back to my room Cooper wakes up. He stands up realises he's naked and sits back down.
"Do you feel alright?" I ask him
"My head hurts" he flops to his pillow "What happened last night?"
"Well I woke up naked in your bed so I'm assuming something"
"Oh," he goes red.

I'm not sure what's going on with Cooper, I'm pretty sure I like him but I don't think I'm gay. I do like girls I think. Cooper pulls on some boxers and a grey hoodie.
"so," Cooper says "what's going on with us"
"I... um I'm not sure"
"Are you gay?" he says without looking at me.
"maybe" I look at him
"do you like me" he mumbles
"I mean I don't know "
"um yeah same "

I'm not sure what to think honestly, I don't think I'm ready to go full-blown gay.
"uno maybe we just forget to finish getting changed and fell asleep together " Cooper blurts out.
"oh yeah maybe" he doesn't like me, he's hoping nothing happened.

maybe I just need to forget about him. maybe I'll just stay with Audra.
I'm not ruining something good for a boy who doesn't like me.

Taylor comes downstairs with lunch, it's soup and bread, apparently, it's a 'hangover cure'
Cooper avoids my eye contact and Taylor leaves giving me a concerned look.

what is going on?

cooper

I wanna cry. he doesn't like me, I really thought after the party he did.
I don't really remember what happened after the party but I know we woke up naked so I'm sure something happened, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable that's why I said maybe nothing happened.

I eat my soup, it's alright. I don't wanna be in a room with Oliver right now but Oliver said we can't go upstairs. After Oliver and finish our food I use it as an excuse to go upstairs.  I walk up the stairs with the bowls in hand and head into the kitchen. Katie is sitting at the table with Doris and Angela, they all turn to look at me as I load the bowls into the dishwasher. "I told you guys not to come upstairs" Mrs Otto exclaims.
"Yeah I know sorry I just wanted to bring the plates up"
"It alright Cooper" she replies
"So Cooper how's your dad," Doris asks.
"Still married" I reply.

I say goodbye and head upstairs, I need time away from Oliver, I go to his old room and take a seat against a wall. My eyes start to well up and tears start to stream. I try to muffle my cries but I think Trip hears as he knocks on the door.
"Cooper are you alright," he asks through the door
"Uh... Yeah" I sniffle
He walks in and sees me crying.
"No, you not" he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder "What's up"
"I don't know," I say then burst into tears. 

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into a tight hug, I cry into his shoulder as he whispers comforting words.
"I just... I just... I like him so much and I don't think he likes me" I say through my tears.
"Who Oliver," he asks.
"Yeah"
Taylor walks in and sees us "shit Coops are you alright." I feel Trip nod no and she sits on the other side of me and also hugs me.

I'm sitting there crying to Taylor and Trip as they both try to make me feel better.
"I'm so sorry Coop, Oliver can be a dick sometimes, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions"
I cry more and the hug gets deeper.
"Im gonna go on a walk I think," I tell them.
"Do you want us to come?" trip asks
"No I'll be fine" I get up and wipe my tears and walk downstairs.
"Cooper are you okay," Angela asks but I ignore her and walk out the door.

I don't know where I'm walking, all I know is I can't be around Oliver tonight. I walk past the tall oak trees and the huge manmade Lake. I take a seat on a little mound of grass and breath. I'm not sure what to do, I just wish Oliver would tell me how he feels. I hate guessing games.

This is shit.

Oliver

Cooper is gone, he left to take the plates up about an hour or 2 ago and hasn't returned.  Angela comes into my room and sits at the edge of my bed.
"How are you feeling," she asks. "Your mum told me your 'ill'. I laugh.
"Not good, alcohol is fun at the time but not after"
Angela laughs and tells me about the first time she got drunk.

"Do you know where Cooper is" I ask
"He went out about an hour ago and hasn't come back"
"Is he okay, do you know where he's gone"
Angela shakes her head, "he seemed upset, did you do something"
Shit, I hate myself. "Yeah I think I messed"
Angela tells me not to blame myself and tells me I should go look for him. Then she walks out.

She's right. I stand up and pull on some joggers and a hoodie, I think it's Coopers but that's fine we share a lot of our clothes. It has the best smell because it smells like him, it's big in me but I like it.
I head upstairs and tell Mum I'm going to find Cooper, she says I should keep my phone on.

I leave the house and it's getting dark, the sun is setting and the wind is gentle but cold. I walk along the road and as I get to the lake I see a figure laying on the ground. Is that Cooper?

I approach the figure and it is, his eyes are shut. He's either asleep or he's passed out, shit. I run over to him and sit down next to him. "COOPER, WAKE UP" he doesn't stir. "COOPER PLEASE" I start to tear up .
I see that his trousers have blood on them. Shit shit shit. "COOPER PLEASE WAKE UP, DONT LEAVE ME , I LOVE YOU" i shake him.

"PLEASE DONT BE DEAD!"