Zeus ate Metis, his first wife, which meant he wanted another wife! He ended up going through two more before realizing he didn't actually have to tie the knot and could just sleep around with girls. (He didn't need to pay child support because that wasn't a thing back then.)
His second marriage, since Metis was now literally part of him, was to Themis, the titaness of justice, which is pretty cool. Themis and Zeus had two sets of triplets: the Moirae and Horae. The Moirae, or more commonly known as Fates, consisted of Atropos, Clotho, and Lachesis. Fun fact: THEY DID NOT SHARE AN EYE. Gods bless Hercules because that is the movie I grew up loving, but Disney, as Disney does, got a lot of stuff wrong. Atropos, Clotho, and Lachesis had string and scissors. Clotho spun the thread of life to see how long someone would live while Lachesis measured it. Atropos cut it. Pretty simple.
The Horae are more commonly known as the seasons. Nowadays, we have four seasons, but back then, we only had three seasons. The Horae consisted of Eunomia, Eirene (or Irene, wait a minute...that's my name!), and Dike. They only show up a couple times in mythology, and there's kinda another myth behind why there are seasons, but eh, it's fine.
Zeus didn't really appreciate sets of three, and he decided he'd separate with Themis. Themis was pretty chill with this, and if you've ever seen Six: The Musical, you can compare their divorce to Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves. (They ended up divorcing but survived each other.)
Ever since then, Themis just kinda chilled with Zeus, and apparently, Themis is always on Zeus' shoulder like an angel. Basically, it's to say that Zeus, the king of the gods, has justice on his side. Make sense? It should, but it really shouldn't because it's another power scheme.
Zeus was kinda sick of Titan chicks. Sure he liked older women, but they weren't really it. (He was kinda sick of marrying his distant aunts.) Then, he realized he had sisters! (Please remember Rule One and Two. You are not a god, do not have incestuous relations. He is a god so he can have incestuous relations. Yum.)
He went after Demeter first because he thought her gardening work was pretty sexy. Demeter, unfortunately, did not find Zeus very sexy. But, uh, Zeus slept with her anyway. Not legal and definitely immoral but the ancient Greeks seemed completely fine with it. (Justice was not on Demeter's side.)
Not-so-fun fact: Zeus assaulted Demeter in the form of a snake. They had snake sex. From this unhappy union, Demeter bore Zeus a daughter called Persephone. She's very important so save that for later.
Zeus decided not to marry Demeter though because he changed his mind about the whole sexy gardener stance. So, he went after Hera, his spunky sister.
Even though Hera wasn't married as of yet, she was still the goddess of marriage and women and womenliness and stuff. Zeus decided that he didn't want her to be a virgin goddess anymore or else she'd be kind of a hypocrite. Hera immediately declined his proposal because she knew what kind of guy he was. Still, Zeus kept on pestering her, so Hera told him that she'd only marry him if she invited him into her room or held her in her breasts. Kinda a weird offer but oh well.
One day, there was rain and thunder and a terrible storm. In the middle of the storm was a little cuckoo bird with a hurt wing, and Hera, from her home, saw it. She felt bad for the bird, so she offered it a place to stay. To dry the bird off, she put it in her breasts. Honestly, the next part...Zeus popped out of the bird with a, "HEY SURPRISE I MANAGED TO DO BOTH!" Hera was kinda surprised, but a deal's a deal so she married him.
At their wedding, Gaia sleep-presented a gift to the maybe happy couple and gave Hera a tree with golden apples. Hera liked it so much that she decided never to use it or see it again and let the Hesperides (remember them?) guard the tree.
After their wedding, Zeus and Hera wasted no time and had kids like a happy family. They first had Ares, and this was not a happy baby. Ares was warlike and ruthless and rough, and Hera and Zeus hated him. Not a good first child to the couple. Also, Zeus was kinda getting tired of Hera already, which was a double not-good. Still, they wanted the relationship to work, so they had another kid!
This child was a girl named Eileithyia, and she took after her mother as the goddess of childbirth. Basically, if you're a girl and you have a terrible childbirthing experience, chances are that your enemy or someone chose to hold back Eileithyia. Or Eileithyia decided to play around and cross her legs. If Eileithyia crosses her legs at your childbirth, you're gonna have a long and excruciating experience until she uncrosses her legs.
Zeus liked Eileithyia, but he was still getting bored...Hera decided to have another kid in hopes of Zeus loving his little family.
Finally, they had Hebe! (Like Hebe-jeebies lmao) Hebe was sweet and kind, the goddess of youth. There are barely any stories regarding her except that she eventually married Heracles (we'll get to his difficult and deadly love life later) and that she was Zeus' cupbearer before Ganymede (again, we'll get to his life later) appeared.
By this point, despite having a cute little family, Zeus was extremely bored and decided to go have more kids. Fun. Onwards!
(Don't worry about the human situation, I'm getting back to it, I promise)
