luke
My words shoot to kill when I'm mad.
This time, I went too far. I was just so frustrated and I lashed out. Seeing that look on her face made me regret it. She's only ever looked at me like that once, and it was the worst day of my life.
I was stupid for breaking up with her. I did it because if things didn't work out, our relationship as friends would never be the same. I guess I wanted any of her that I could instead of nothing at all. In the long run, I realize how stupid it was.
Ever since that day, I've never forgiven myself. I let go of the best thing I had in my life. I wish she would come back. I wish I never ended things like I did. I wish she would know that I'll never forget what we had as long as I live.
And she thinks I hate her now but she still doesn't know what I never said. I destroyed every silver lining in her head. I played with her feelings, I was simply not the best to her.
Although I've tried, I can't pretend that I don't sit around and think about her, because when I'm not in that ice, that's all I do. She's like a drug I can't get enough of.
Maybe that's why I'm calling her right now. It rings and rings. I almost hang up, why would I be stupid enough to think she would answer?
But I don't hang up. It goes to voicemail. "Hi, sorry I couldn't answer," She giggles. The memories come flushing back. I remember the exact day she made this voice mail.
"I- stop it!" She laughs again. "Leave a message after the beep because I do actually check my voicemail. Luke!" She laughs and it beeps. I hang up.
God, I miss that laugh. I miss being the one to make her laugh. I'm tired of other people making her laugh and I can't. I made her laugh the way no one else could. When she laughs now, it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
I call her again, this time she declines it. I give him with calling her and toss my phone on my bed. I share a dorm with Ethan, but he's not here right now.
We're both prospects for the Devils - the team Jack plays for. I've always wondered how Quinn feels about it. Knowing both of his brothers are playing for the same team, but he's stuck so far away in Vancouver.
I know my parents hate it. Not having all of their sons in the same place except for the short off-season. But I know they're proud of us, too. I mean, why wouldn't they be? All three of their sons got drafted top seven in our respective draft class.
"Quinn?" I'm calling Quinn. After we broke up, I blabbed anything and everything about Lils to him. After him calling me an asshole and an idiot a couple hundred times, he actually listened to what I was saying.
"What'd you do this time?" He states. I'm not surprised he knows what I'm going to talk to him about. When I call him, it's usually about her anyway.
"I really fucked up, Q." I say. I explain to him the entire thing, from her walking into the restaurant and when I called her. Every single detail was explained to him. Quinn is like a therapist, but I feel free of judgement.
"Luke, dear brother, have you ever thought about telling her that you don't hate her and what actually happened?" He says.
"No, you don't understand. That'll ruin everything. I hardly talk to her now, and that'll only make things worse, I would rather have her in my life as a supposed enemy than not at all." I state.
"Your logic is stupid." Quinn replies. I roll my eyes, although he can't see me, I know he knows I did.
I pull my phone away from my ear. "Uh, I gotta go." I don't wait for a response, I hang up. Lily is calling me. I immediately answer the call.
"Luke- I- my drink- frat house-" She says frantically, barley forming words yet alone sentences.
"Breathe, okay? I'll be there in five minutes." I say. I pocket my phone and rush to the frat house she's at.
I don't know what happened, considering she barely spoke, but once I figure it out, I'm sure as hell holding whoever did it accountable.
She's sitting on the curb and I immediately rush over to her as she stands up. Tears fall rapidly down her cheeks.
I scan her for any sort of injury when my eyes land on her neck. That's not a hickey, that's a fucking bruise.
"I'm sorry, I- You were the first person on my recently called and I- I didn't think you'd be busy. I know-"
"Stop. You really think I care about that right now?" I ask. "Tell me what happened."
"I, um, there was this party- or at least I thought it was a party, but I was the only one there besides the frat guys." She takes a shaky and shallow breath. "And this, uh one guy handed me a drink and after I started drinking it, I felt.. off and dizzy. One of them - the one that handed me the drink - pushed me on the couch and the other guy got on top of me and when I tried to push him off he punched me in my neck and I-"
"Who did this to you?"
"I, Carter Thorn was the one who gave me the drink. I think it was Tommy Hart who did it." She says.
"I'm going to fucking kill them both."
"Don't, please. I just- could you walk me back please? Then you can go back to hating me." She says.
"I-" I stop myself. She can't know, especially not now after what she went through tonight.
The entire walk back to her dorm was quiet except for the people in the street clearly drunk and partying.
I watch her as she hyper focuses on the steps she takes. Her breathing is still shaky along with her hands. I want to hold them so it stops but I can't.
Halfway to her dorm, Matthew Knies walks over to us. "I got her from here, Luke." He says.
"I got it." I state.
"It's fine, your dorm is that way anyway." He says.
"Knies, I-"
"I'm going with Matthew, you should really go back to your dorm." That cold harsh tone is back.
I clench my jaw, refraining from saying something I shouldn't. And I walk away. I look back after I cross the street, Matthew's arms are wrapped around her, she's hugging him too.
What is Knies playing at? Whatever it is, it's pissing me off.
On the way back to my dorm, I walk past the frat house. Tommy Hart and Connor Thorn are sitting on the porch step.
Two on one. But they are both drunk. I'm pissed off enough that their faces look really punchable. Fuck it.
"Woah, buddy," They both stand up from the porch as Tommy speaks. "If you aren't apart of the frat, get off the grass."
"Did you say that to Lilliana?"
"Oh, her. Yeah, she wasn't much fun away." Connor says waving it off.
"A little too resistant for my taste, man." Tommy says scrunching up his face in disgust. That's when I lose it.
I punch Tommy first, then Connor. Tommy swings at me and I dodge his fist. Connor tries to get me from behind, I elbow him in his gut making him fall backward.
I land another punch on Connor. Tommy comes at me again, and lands a punch on my eye. I get a fist full of his shirt and punch him over and over again.
Tommy falls to the ground like the pussy that he is and Connor is too scared to try anything else on me. "Go near her again and it'll be worse next time."
That's one way to blow off some steam.
author's note:
HOW DID JACK LOSE THE LADY BYNG?!?!?? LIKE I THOUGHT HE HAD IT IN THE BAG EVERYONE THOUGHT HE HAD IT IN THE BAG THIS IS A SHOCK
HOW DID NICO AND MITCH BOTH LOSE TOO???!?! THIS IS RIGGED I HATE THE NHL AWARDS.
matty beniers won tho :)
LINEY RUFF LOST TOO WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING
in conclusion: the nhl awards suck and the nfl awards are sm better
