"So what are you up to?", Lily suddenly asked when I came out of the bathroom. I answered: " What do mean, I just woke up and went to the bathroom?" Lily replied: "Don't act all stupid, you know exactly what I mean, the other two are still asleep in their room, so no judgment or trying to teach you a life lesson here." Valentina and Maya tended to try and see the good in everything that crossed their way, so often, they tried forcing this philosophy on the two of us too. Lily was different from our other friends, she always tried to just listen and make me more comfortable with the situation I found myself in, without giving me a hard time about it. "Fine, I'm not sure if the thing going on between Gabriel and I is the right fit for me. I just still don't feel a great connection with him", I said while getting seated next to her on the round table in our kitchen. In my thoughts the right thing to do, was to only tell her about Gabriel and not about seeing Finn. She would instantly know why I started slowly pushing Gabriel away, if his name was to be mentioned. Also I didn't even want to admit it to myself so why would I do it in front of somebody else's ears. "Maybe it just needs more time to bring you the emotions you wish for?", Lily questioned me. " I don't think I want to invest more time in it, I don't even know if it would change something in long term", I said. Lily frantically switched her seating position when she told me: "Oh, now I know, you don't even want these emotions to build up-" "What are you even talking about Lily?" "Come on, I'm not gonna give you a hard time about it, but it's what you always do. Since the day I know you, you're never fully admitted yourself to a relationship. Every time it's slightly going good you pull away so it's not becoming great. And both of us know the reason this is still happening, don't we ?", Lily said while finishing her bowl of fruits.
Lily gave me an inserting look, she stood up and put her empty bowl into the sink. Before she could continue her discourse on the whole Gabriel topic the door of one of the bedrooms opened. It was Emilia, coming out of her room with a sleepy face and still in her pyjamas. Without any word spoken she went to the fridge, took out one of her iced coffees and sipped on her drink. After a bit of sipping she was ready to start the day, which also meant, she was finally ready to talk to us. "Good morning, how are you both doing?", she asked with a now smiling face. Good, both of us answered. I couldn't even finish my sentence when she already asked about our plans with Gabriel and his friends this Friday. "How do you even know-", I asked with a confused look on my face. "Oh there's one of Gabriel's friends who asked me out later today, he told me about your plans with us", Emilia answered before taking another sip of her coffee. Lily and I gave her a laughing sight, due to us knowing it's not just a somebody who asked her out. For Emilia every opportunity to get to know somebody, was a new chance to find the love of her life. And until proven wrong she saw them as exactly this. So no meet-up was just a meet-up for Emilia, it was always something significant.
After a little bit more chatting, everybody slowly got ready for university and work. The only one still being deeply away in her own head, was Valentina. She was asleep in her locked up room so nobody would interrupt her rest. While I started to pack my back to leave for school, I heard a loud scream coming out of Valentinas room: "Ahhh!" As expected she was running late again. Something that happened more than once in the past couple of weeks. Something was going on with her, always sleeping in and clearly in a bad mood everyday, didn't seem like the normal Valentina I know for years now. "I'm gonna make you coffee while you get ready and we can leave in 5 minutes then", I told her while she hectically rushed through the apartment looking for fresh clothes. Without a word she nodded and sprinted into her bathroom.
Only a few minutes later, Valentina and I were at the nearest metro station and waited for the next subway to arrive. "So you are not going to tell me what's going on?", I asked her with a concerned look on my face. The metro arrived and while getting in she answered: "Not before you tell me why you and Gabriel are already over." "What are you even talking about-?", I quickly replied. " Oh my god he doesn't know yet, doesn't he?", she frantically asked me. "Everything's okay, he doesn't know something because there is nothing for him to know." "You don't even believe yourself right now Noa, I saw the look on your face when you returned home yesterday. The urge of you wanting to stop the relationship clapped in, it was the same look as always, it was written all over your face. So don't you dare lie to me", Valentinas words came at me while we still stood in the metro waiting to arrive at our destination. Why was she so forward today. And why wouldn't she tell me what was going on. Because there was no way normal everything was fine with her being so openly negative. "There is no look on my face, everything is going just fine. With Gabriel it's different this time. I'm certain.", I answered not even sure what just came out my mouth. I knew she wouldn't believe me but I just couldn't stand this thesis the girls had going on about me breaking off everything before it even really started. Maybe Lily was right before and it just needed more time to become something great. "Oh Noa, sometimes there is just no way to help you. But if you're so sure about this, are you gonna let this get together happen on Friday or are you not certain enough for something as big as this." I answered: "Maybe something like this helps me to prove you guys wrong and convince you to trust me about this." "It's not about proving something to us, we don't care if you two work out. I just want you to think about this before doing something that will make you feel more guilty than you would have needed. I just want you to be happy and I think we both know a serious relationship with Gabriel is not the way to get that.", Valentina said. I just let out a sight before we left the subway to get to uni.
The conversation with Valentina spoked in my head the whole day. I couldn't let go of her words. I knew she was right, but what if the only thing needed to stabilize my connection with Gabriel, was time. Should I really just end things now, before putting everyone in uncomfortable position or should I just go through with the plans on Friday and see how it would be. After thinking about it a bit longer, I came to the conclusion, that I needed more time with Gabriel and to not make hasty decisions. Getting all our friends together tomorrow would be the step into the right direction for us.
YOU ARE READING
endlessly drawn lines
RomanceA girl and her friends living their best life in Paris with mostly odd relationships, life struggles and a lot of drinking. The story follows the daily life's of young girls with a bit of a twist to create a closer connection to the readers.
