I Am Forever

Notes:
A tribute piece to my hero, Mr. Michael Joseph Jackson. Forever in my heart, forever my hero.

You are forever.

******

June 25th, 2009

The world came to an abrupt stop that day. The world ceased to exist. And yet, it lit up more than it ever has since the time of its creation.

The heavens opened up, sunlight unnaturally bright as it spilled from the heavens. 

I myself had a tear fall down my cheek. One of many, in all honesty.

As I looked at the coverage, my heart broke in ways I never imagined to ever exist. One would never expect something such as this. My fingertips slide down the window panes, as countless people chant, cheer, and cry. I could feel their hearts breaking along with mine.

I sighed. A broken cry escaped my lips.

Turning, I am met with the lifeless body of which my soul had abandoned far too early. Oh, God. Why did this even have to happen? My fingers touch the cold skin of my cheek. Once warm and filled with life.

A solitary tear slipped from my eye, to land upon my still and lifeless form. Despite it all, I had an overwhelming sense of peace, calm and warmth. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. 

"Michael, Michael, Michael!"

I smile at the cheers from those gathered outside. Even now in such a time of heartbreak, they remain hopeful. Just as they always have since the very beginning. I have been blessed to have such amazing people in my life. I may not have met them all personally, but at least for today, I have come to know them all in the blink of an eye.

Despite the negative times, their love immediately turned it all positive. 

"Michael!" I hear my mothers sweet voice.

No, not mother. I sob once more as I watch her wrap herself around my body, as sobs wracked her soul with each cry. I am so sorry, for not being strong enough.

"Baby, please, wake up!" 

My hand reached to touch her shoulder. It was warm, but she couldn't feel me. And that broke me in ways no one should ever feel. Oh, mother. I pray you will forgive someday. 

Time comes to a slow crawl, as members of my family come and go to say goodbye. I remain close by, leaning against the window panes, tears streaking my face. To be in a room full of people and not be seen was painful beyond anything imaginable. 

And when they came in, my soul shattered.

"Daddy!"

Paris. My sweet girl. Daddy loves you so much, I hope you know this to be true.

"Open your eyes, please!"

Oh, baby, I wish I could hold you just one more time. 

Silent cries escape me as I slide to the floor, burying my face in my knees. It was a harsh reality that was steadily becoming difficult to accept. I was no longer of this earthly realm, and it hurt. My soul was in so much pain. A pain I've never felt.

"Why?" I whisper. "I had so much to give, so much to do!"

"Michael," Came an almost melodic voice.

It echoed all around me, through my soul. I sighed, feeling peaceful, and almost unnerving peace, but it felt familiar. The voice held a warmth unlike any other I've ever known.

My eyes searched for the source, no one could be found, but, oh, it could be felt. Sounds of singing guide me to the front of the hospital where my brother was about to speak. His cheeks were stained with tears, and I fell apart once more.

Jermaine was struggling to remain composed, and my hand immediately went to his shoulder, in hopes of granting him strength and peace.

"My brother, the legendary King of Pop, Michael Jackson… passed away today…"

My eyes shut tight as I turn and run back inside, where I am met with all three of my children at the bedside. Oh, how I wished and ultimately begged for a miracle. They needed me as much as I needed them. They were the very reason to keep going. All I did was for my children. Each day was for them.

I knelt down, hoping against all hope to be able to wrap my arms around them. 

As they wept together, my arms held them close as possible, despite it all, hoping and wishing against all hope they could feel me somehow. When Paris began to openly weep, my world as I knew it shattered.

Sobs tore from my heart, my very soul. 

I was gone. 

"Michael," the voice returned. "Are you ready?"

A hand outstretched towards me, all I could see was bright and soothing light. I shook my head, tears steadily streaming down my cheeks. 

"Please give me a few more moments. Please." I softly beg.

My children. I pray you find peace. Please never forget how much I will always love you 

Placing soft kisses to their foreheads, I slowly stand, placing my hand into the light. I am soon met with a breathtaking warmth as my tears are dried and my soul filled with an energy I've never felt before.

"Michael, Michael, Michael!"

As my eyes open I am met with the most beautiful sight I've ever set sights on. 

Light. Endless and boundless light.

"Welcome home, Michael."

I turn to face the voice, only to find even more of the breathtaking energy. I managed a smile despite the heartache. 

"Thank you for a job well done."

Again I smile.

"Here we are forever. You are forever."

Turning, I take one last glance, and blowing a kiss, I smile.

"I am forever."