The Broken Doll

Chapter thirteen

Lily's pov

One day, while we were at breakfast, Chance said that his girlfriend, Emma, was coming over for dinner on Saturday. Ella was instantly excited and said, in her usual bubbly way, that she was dying for Emma to come over so they could talk about something. I wasn't so excited, this was just another person to judge me and deem I'm not worthy of respect. Emma will never like me the way she clearly likes Ella. Chance may like her and want to be with her, but she won't want to deal with his imperfect little sister. 

"You'll really like her, Lily," Ella said excitedly, 

"Sure," I said, 

"She's really nice and she loves hanging out with us," Ella said, 

"You say that because she talks to you about girl stuff," Nolan said,

"Do you wanna talk about girl stuff with us?" Ella asked,

"No, but-

"Do you even know anything about girl stuff?" Ella asked, 

"No-

"Then, we'd rather talk about girl stuff with girls," Ella said, 

"You're still not dating until you're forty," James said,

"Sure," Ella said.

Nolan and Ella had their little banter back and forth while I sat dreading the impending weekend. Suddenly, I could hear her voice in my head again. Her demands, her reprimands, her instructions. I could feel the familiar pressure building in my chest, she was still very much here with me. I can feel her angry, hateful, intense glare at me. I felt myself sitting up even straighter than I was. She would be reprimanding my hair, it wasn't in a bun but down with the front pieces clipped back with butterfly shaped clips. My clothes, not the usual neutral colors button downs and slacks but a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with a picture of a butterfly on the front. My shoes, not loafers but pink sneakers to match my shirt.

I could feel the panic beginning to enter and take over my body. I couldn't hear my siblings voices, all I could hear was this high pitched ringing sound. All I could see was darkness, the pressure in my chest was increasing, and I couldn't get a full breath of air into my lungs. I didn't realize that I was up and running away from the dining room until I hit the stairs. I didn't know or care if my siblings were following me but I needed to get away. I ran into my room and straight to my closet.

I viciously tore the pink butterfly clips from my hair, I ripped a black shirt from the hanger and a pair of dress slacks. I striped the pink shirt and jeans off and quickly threw on the black button down and black slacks on. I ripped my pink sneakers off and put on a pair of brown loafers. I put my long hair into the bun Mother liked. 

When I was done, I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor. I sat there and stared at the clothes on the floor in front of me. Mother never would've bought such outlandish clothes for me, she'd never allow me to wear such things or parade around dressed like that. She was going to punish me just like she always did, she was going to be so angry. I've been so defiant lately, I'll be lucky if she doesn't give fifty lashes for what I've been doing lately. 

Suddenly, I could hear my bedroom door opening. She's coming! She's going to punish me! The closet door was opening. I was sure my heart had stopped and I was about to die. Everything was so loud and I realized I was screaming. Mother's going to punish me more because I'm screaming! I'm so scared!

"Lily! Please, listen. It's me, it's Chance," A voice was saying 

"It's me, Chance," The voice continued,