The Way You'd Loved Her | winrina

Chapter 33

"Alright, well," Winter clears her throat. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," is Karina's short, almost shy answer. They've been standing in her hallway for about half an hour now - Winter insisted on seeing her to the door. 'It's late, and your hallways are dark,' Winter told her evenly. Karina only hummed in agreement, deciding against pointing out the obvious.

It's just as hard for Winter to say goodbye as it is for her.

She glances down and then back at Winter's face, lightly biting her lip. She knows she's shamelessly flirting. Judging by the way Winter's breath catches in her throat, she doesn't particularly mind. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

Winter's smirk is small, but it speaks volumes. "You know we won't stop at tea, Karina," she says quietly, and her eyes are vibrant. "Especially not right now."

"Oh?" Maybe she should cut it out. Probably. But it's been so long since she's felt comfortable teasing Winter like this; since Winter allowed her to get this close to tease her. It's -- exhilarating. "And what's so special about right now?"

"Not after what you've told me outside Dr. Lee's office," Winter clarifies. Her voice drops even lower. Just like the shivers down Karina's back. "Unless..." She trails off, searching Karina's face. Not for the first time, Karina finds herself wanting to cave so, so badly. She suspects Winter's perfectly aware of the effect she has on her. She's just not aware she's using it to her advantage sometimes.

And that's the thought that makes Karina pause, and think, and take a small step back. It doesn't stop a wistful sigh from falling, though. "Dr. Lee is right," she says. "We're not... we're not there yet."

Images of Winter - quickly, roughly, gently, persistently, unsurely - pushing her hands away whenever she's wanted to touch her, to feel her, flash through her mind, and she swallows the bitter lump in her throat. 'I don't want that to happen, and I have a feeling that's exactly what's going to happen if we were to -- and I'm so tired of feeling empty.'

The gentle, sad curve of Winter's mouth lets her know she's thinking the same thing. "I'm sorry," she whispers, "for being so... forthcoming."

"No, no, I understand," Karina quickly interjects. "Trust me," she lets out a humorless chuckle. "I get it."

Winter's smile is muted. "Right." She surprises Karina by slowly reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "I... I wish I could say we're already there," she says, looking up at her and finding her eyes with her own.

"I know." Karina's overcome with this sudden urge to reassure her, and so she does - or at least tries to, stepping closer to her and taking her other hand. Smoothing her thumbs over her knuckles. Winter does that a lot to her. It feels good to reciprocate. "It's okay to need time, Winter. And space, too. If you--" she swallows, again, because the words will never get less painful to get out but -- but. "If you ever need to... take a step back, I want you to feel comfortable with sharing that need with me. And I'll understand. I promise you, Winter."

"Okay." She knows Winter wants to tell her that no, she won't need that anymore, but at this point, it would be a lie. Karina watches Winter take a deep breath, and feels her squeeze her hands. "It's enough, you know," she tells her then, smiling more with her eyes than her lips. "Your promise. It's -- enough."

And Karina hears everything Winter doesn't say. 'I'm getting closer to trusting your word', Winter's eyes tell her, and they are filled with wonder, as if Winter herself is only now discovering that. Perhaps, she is.

Karina nods, and leans into Winter, resting her head on her shoulder and smiling when she feels Winter's arms slowly entwine her waist. "I don't want to go," she confesses quietly into Winter's jacket, inhaling her scent. Leather mixed with soft, barely-there perfume and Winter.