A Life On The Edge

Too Much

"Blake! Blake wake up!" I woke up to the sound of my beautiful Bella calling my name.

"What baby?" I grumbled. I opened my eyes and frowned at the dark circles under hers. We've been under a lot of stress lately. Chris's search for Riley is unwavering and his search for the rat is relentless. It's gotten bad...real bad. It's gotten to the point where I fear for even our safety. I've never seen Chris and Kelly work together like they have been. It's unsettling. The two can barely agree about where to meet but when it comes to Riley, they almost become one. To see two monsters conform like that...well it even gives me chills.

Bella and I have decided not to let on to Dylan and the others about how bad it has gotten. As far as we know we are nowhere near them. That's insane to me. It feels like we've spread to every region of Arizona. We've gone as far out as Parma, and we're still moving. I tell Dylan ever step we take and they still insist on staying where they're at. They must feel safe, and that's good.

As long as they're safe.

"It's Johanna." She said holding out the phone. I took my cell from her and put it too my ear still too tired to really sit up.

"Hello?" I grumbled.

"Where the fuck is my brother."

"You know I don't know that."

"I know for a fucking fact you do."

"I have no idea where your brother is and I put that on my mother's grave."

"If you don't know where he is, you know how to reach him." I paused. "Tell me." She begged.

"Jo I can't do that."

"Those bastards can't do anything to me. With all that shit Ricky framed me with. I'm in prison Blake they can't touch me in here."

"Where do you think most of our people are at Jo!" I growled getting annoyed with her. "I'd bet a thousand dollars that woman standing next you talking on the other phone used to be with us and our gang. She's probably one of Chris's old working girls."

"I just want to hear his voice Blake." She cried. "That's all I want." I frowned, her raspy voice melted my heart and I broke.

"Hold on." I said.

"Okay." I dialed in a number and conferenced the call.

"Hello?" Lyle answered.

"Ly-Ly?" Jo gasp.

"Oh my god Johanna is that you?" he gasped.

"Just hang up whenever you're done guys." I said and put the phone on mute to give them the illusion of privacy but I was going to keep on listening. I'm Blake and I'm nosy.

"Lyle." Jo cried. "Oh my god I miss you so much."

"How are you calling me?" he asked.

"Blake must have called you and conferenced you in."

"Oh Jo, where are you? Are you safe?" Lyle asked.

"Um...I'm safe." She whispered.

"Where are you Jo?"

"I'm...I'm in prison Ly-Ly." It was silent for a moment. "Lyle?"

"Prison?"

"Remember all that shit Ricky put in my house. He got Logan taken away."

"Yeah?"

"Well I was charged with possession with intent to sell. And negligence."

"How many counts?"

"There were so many." She cried. "I can't remember." I sighed with pain for her. "I'm safe from everything but...it's terrible in here."

"Are you hold up okay?" he asked.  

"I've been in solitary for the past couple of weeks." I froze. I didn't know that.

"Oh god Johanna."

"Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it." Lyle sniffled. It broke my heart.

"How's Riley?" she asked. I wanted to know too.

"Um...I don't know. I don't think she's okay."

"But you're there for her right?" I heard Lyle sighed.

"Jo I fucked up. And I don't think I can fix it this time." He whimpered.

"You love her don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Be strong for her Lyle. She needs you now more then she'll ever need anyone in her whole life." I bit my lip and held back my rage. I hate this. I hate everything about this.

"I miss you so much Jo-Jo." Lyle cried. "I wish you were here. I wish you were here more than anyone."

"Hey, don't cry." She sniffled. "Do you remember that song I used to sing to you? How did it go? I can't remember the beginning. Sing it for me." He chuckled and stared to sing.

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow."

"Yeah that's it. How'd the rest of it go?"

"But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow. Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on. For it won't be long till I'm gonna need. Somebody to lean on. Um..." he paused. "I don't...I don't remember the other part." He struggled to get out through tears.

"Please," Jo started to sing. "Swallow your pride if I have things, you need to barrow. For, no one can fill. Those of your needs, that you won't let show. You just call on me brother when you need a hand, we all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'd understand. We all need somebody to lean on."

"There is 1 minute left in this call." The operating voice interrupted.

"I love you Jo." He sniffled.

"I love you Ly-Ly." We could both hear her whimpering on the other side of the phone. It broke my heart.

"Jo, stay strong okay?"

"Don't die before I see you again."

"Jo...don't say that."

"Promise me! Promise me I'll get to see my baby brother again." she cried.

"I promise." Jo's line went dead and I heard Lyle let out a heavy, heartbreaking huff. "Thank you Blake." He whispered, and hung up.

"Baby, why are you crying?" Bella asked. I sniffled and wiped away my stray tears.

"I fucking hate this shit! I hate everything about this. It's causing so much pain. Chris is all fucked up, your all fucked up, Riley's all fucked up, everyone is all fucked up inside and nobody knows what to do! Jason's gone. We're all in fucking danger and I just...I'm fucking scared Bella. I'm scared."

"Shh baby stop." She whispered taking a seat on my lap. "We're all scared. You're human baby. You're not the incredible hulk. You may be built like him but you're not him." She made me laugh. "You don't have to be strong all the time. You just don't. I miss Jason too. Erica is losing it. I think it's time we let Dylan know what's going on over here."

"Riley is going to flip when she finds out Chris killed Jason." Jason was in love with Erica. And although Erica always blamed Riley for stealing Ricky and the ultimate downfall of all of us, he was still close to her. Erica hated Riley but Jason loved her just as much as we did. He just had a different way of showing it because of his girl. Riley loved Jason like an uncle or a big brother, it would kill her if she found out he died without getting a chance to say goodbye or even...hello again.

"We have to tell them. They have to know." She said. I nodded.

"We will...just not now. Later. We'll tell them everything later."