Conan Gray One Shots

Am I pretty when I cry?

Note: This one shot is based on Lana Del Rey's song, "Pretty When You Cry". This one shot best makes sense when listening to the song. Enjoy <3

It's Friday night. The dining room is dimly lit by candles surrounding the room and the faint orangish light coming from the kitchen. The city lights are twinkling beautifully as I stare at them, reminding me of my current situation. I had made Conan's favorite pasta, accompanied with an expensive wine I bought for us to share for our homemade dinner tonight. He said he was only going to be out for an hour or two tonight. I told him to come home at 8:00 for our date night. It's 9:05. I had already finished my pasta and chugged down 2 glasses of wine while depressingly looking out of the huge windows in our house that displayed LA. I sign in wonder.

Did he forget? Again?

This wasn't the first time he had forgotten about our date night. About a month ago I was in the same situation. Sitting alone in the dark, wondering where the hell my boyfriend was. And when he came home he had promised me he was never going to abandon me again. He promised. It seems like all I do is wait for him. He's always out on tour, interviews, in the studio or catching up with old friends. It seems like he finds everything else to do before being with his girlfriend. Supposedly the only one who makes him feel a certain way. I've heard it all before.

"I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Our moments together are so special to me."

"Never leave me, I need you."

I glance back at my phone. 9:10. No text messages, no phone calls. I decide instead of wallowing in sadness and getting drunk, that I'm going to have an early night tonight and give him the silent treatment tomorrow morning. I push myself off my chair and gather my empty plate and wine glass and walk towards the kitchen light. When I finish washing my plate, I go back into the dining room and grab his plate full of cold pasta and wrap it and put it in the fridge. I chug his glass of wine. I'm not wasting that. I blow out the candles in the room and turn off the kitchen light as I walk to our bedroom. I see his 'Killers' t-shirt laying on my side of bed. I guess I forgot to put it away. I slip off my heels and my satin black cherry dress. I grab some shorts and his t-shirt that has his scent and warmth still lingering on it. Tears form in my eyes as I realize how much I love him. He always treated me with care and respect. But recently, I've been finding myself crying to myself at night after getting into a fight with him. This dinner was supposed to ease our relationship. Re-establish our feelings for each other. We both know just how love sick we are for one another, yet sometimes our relationship feels hopeless. I carefully take off my makeup, looking into my reflection. My lifeless eyes trickle with salty tears. I climb into our cold bed yearning for his touch. I just want him here. I lay awake for what seems like hours until I finally hear keys jangling outside and the doorknob turning. The door creaks open. His footsteps are faint but notable. The bedroom door slightly opens.

"Y/n? Are you awake?" he whispers into the room.

I can make out his silhouette still standing in the doorway. Although all the lights are out, the light from the moon shines brightly through the room. I decide to make my presence known and I sit up in the sheets wiping my tears away with my arm. He quickly notices.

"Oh, baby." he replies as he walks over to our bed.

I cross my arms and look down, embarrassed at my vulnerability.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I- I completely forgot about tonight. I was just caught up with so much work at the studio and we just had so much to finish. Please babe, I'm so terribly sorry. Please look at me." he states pleadingly. He takes his fingers and lifts up my chin so that my teary eyes meet his sorry gaze.

"Baby?" he asks.

"I just thought-" my voice creaks, "you promised. Why couldn't you just keep your promise?"

He tenses as if he finally realizes his mistake. But his eyebrows furrowed as if I said something wrong.

"I already told you. I was working-"

"For 4 hours?" I interrupted him not wanting to hear his excuse.

"Well-" he replied. He paused. Why did he have to pause? My heart sank. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but it looks like he already did that for me.

"Who." I said in a more demanding than asking voice.

"Just some friends, that's it. We just went to the bar and hung out for a while." he said guilty.

I turned my shoulder looking at my phone on the nightstand. 11:32 were the numbers shining brightly into the dark, lighting up my blank expression. I feel him sit on the bed facing me and taking my hands into his.

"Baby, I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. Tomorrow. We'll do anything you want. Just you and I." he says wanting to break the silence.

I turn back to him to reveal tears streaming down my face.

"You're just gonna leave again, aren't you?" I ask. "Say you're too busy and leave me alone for the whole day, aren't you?"

"I- I don't understand?" he questions.

"When was the last time we hung out, just the two of us?" I ask.

He's silent.

"Then that answers your question." I replied. I turn away from him. And the room fills with eerie silence.

"Babe, c'mon don't do this." he gently grabs the side of my face and turns me towards him. He tries to make eye contact while I desperately try to avoid it. When it comes to him, I can never be mad. I just can't resist him. I look up. His eyes are attached to mine, never leaving. He looks so beautiful in the pale moonlight.

"I can't do this." I say while my eyes fill with water.

"Do what? No baby, don't say what I think you're going to. I need you baby." he pleads.

"No Conan, it hurts when you're not here. I love you, but-"

"No, Y/n, please don't leave me. I'll change, I promise." he cuts me off.

"I don't know."

"Of course, you do. You love me, right? I love you, I really do. Baby please stay. I just need you so much."

"Don't say you need me when you leave and you leave again." I say now sobbing into my hands.

He grabs me and holds me close in his arms. This was all I ever needed from him. Why couldn't he just figure it out without getting me to cry first?

Hi guys! If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I've always had a passion for writing and I'm so glad I get to do just that! It's my very first story, so again, please be nice. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Also, don't be afraid to comment! I can't wait to interact with you guys more. Have a wonderful day, thank you again.

- K