after midnight

-

They were used to stolen kisses in the middle of the night. It was somewhat comforting to know that they had a time when they could just be – it was okay if they had too much alcohol in their blood, they still were grateful for the adrenaline.

Taehyung's mother always told him to be careful, because people can't be trusted when you have something to lose. He always took those words to heart, except for all those times when his hands had something to grasp and his heart was too full to remember where he left his mind. He couldn't be bothered to think about anything else, not when Namjoon was just a kiss away from making everything feel better.

They felt safer at night, when they thought they could never be seen. When Taehyung reached for Namjoon and took one last step until they were glued to each other, because he knew that's where they belonged. It was better that way, having fun in the night. Pretending there was no morning that could break them apart. Nothing else mattered when they were too busy exploring each other, when even the moon promised to keep the secret away from danger.

What Tae did not know, was how he ended up being alone that night.

They never talked about meeting, they simply did. The daylight felt too tiring, they felt too naked under it, and being exposed made them afraid. But now he felt exposed under the moonlight too, laying down on the grass of a nameless park while the moon seemed to be silently judging him, a joke he wasn't aware of. Tae could not help but worry, because this was so unlike Namjoon.

He sat up on the grass, feeling the world beneath his fingers as he kept on waiting. He was trying to give his own mind some peace, thinking that Namjoon was safe, that he was not as fucked up as the rest of them so there was no reason for him to be in trouble. He was most likely caught up fixing something.
Taehyung liked that about Namjoon, how he fixed things.

It was starting to be cold, probably the night's warning for Tae to just go home. He could go, he could get up and walk all the way to his house and hope that it would not be one of those nights. He could survive one night without Namjoon, without his hands on him, without his words in his ear. But he didn't really want to, he felt like being fixed.
Tae leaned his back against the closest tree as he allowed his gaze to wander toward the entrance of the park. It was silent, he detested silence. It was dark, that he could work with. At least he could dwell on the fact that he could be barely seen. He rose his knees up until they were glued to his chest and held them tightly. If Namjoon was there, he would not be cold. Or maybe he would, but he would also be too happy to notice.
Maybe he didn't want to meet anymore.

Tae grabbed his phone and looked at the cracked screen. It was almost one in the morning and there was no sight of Namjoon. He sighed while he unlocked it and searched for Namjoon's chat.

[00:45] Tae
hey, are you coming?

He waited, his eyes glued to the screen as he had absolutely nothing else to do. He pushed the hood of his jacket over his head when he felt his ears starting to freeze. Tae could not be sure, but he refused to think Namjoon would stand him up without a single word.

[00:47] Tae
joon

[00:51] Tae
if you wanted to stay home you could have told me, yanno

Tae was annoyed at this point. He was annoyed because he was most likely being stood up, he was annoyed because he didn't know if Namjoon was okay, and he was annoyed because it was cold as fuck and he wasn't wearing the right clothes.

He still waited, because part of him knew this was not Namjoon, that it wasn't like him to let anyone waiting in the cold for him. Tae knew the guilt would end up eating him alive, and that's what annoyed him the most.