Found again (HTTYD FF)

★7★

He sat in the back corner of the cell, staring at the girl in the doorway. They were barely a few steps apart. After discovering the door wouldn't close, she sat there and watched his every move. Probably no other cell was available, so he stayed here.

Hiccup huddled in the shadows, trying to hide behind the wings. To make himself invisible. He peeked out from behind the wings and glared at her.

Cursing the girl for not heading back to her village. He could have escaped. Probably. He didn't trust himself, not after the previous incident. He wondered why she hadn't asked him any questions. Why she hadn't spoken to him since she'd settled into her current position. She turned her axe over in her hand, inspecting it like some valuable object. With the same thoughtful look she always looked at him afterwards, but each time it was replaced by amazement from his dragon eyes. From his appearence.

His gaze slid to his lap, where he clutched his tail to his chest. He hugged it with both arms, pretending it was fine. But when he saw it and closed his eyes, its image was still there. He'd never get that image out of his mind again, he was sure of it.

The thin vulnerable membrane of his left tail fin was all torn. Pieces of it were missing, and the parts that remained were stained crimson with blood. Tears burned in his eyes as he saw the horrible condition of his tail, as the dull pain was coming in waves. It must have happened when he tried to fly away when the Viking girl threw her axe at him the second time.

The realization hit him like an avalanche. The fin would never grow back. If there were a few tiny holes in the membrane, there wouldn't be a trace of them left in a few days. But an injury of this magnitude... He'll never take off with that tail. He will never fly again. Never again will he see the night sky as clearly as he can from the ground's unreachable heights.

He squeezed his eyelids tightly and suppressed a sob. He listened to the cries of the dragons. They hadn't changed in all that time. Silent voices, probably inaudible to humans, overlapped each other in a discordant melody.

It made Hiccup's ears hurt. He had never heard anything like it. Not with such intensity. He felt like joining in. To add his voice, his own pain, his own dread, to their silent song. But, he didn't dare make a sound, so he just listened with his eyes closed.

When he couldn't take it anymore, when he no longer knew what thoughts belonged to him and what belonged to the dragons, he growled. He didn't know where it came from. He was furious. Humans had no right to do such evile things to them. To force them to live in the dark and loneliness of a small space, only to die in a few months. Only to be killed like a pig at slaughter.

"L-let them go," he said to the girl. He couldn't save himself, but he could try to save them. Hopefully, their minds weren't too broken and confused that they couldn't survive. Maybe they would be able to free themselves from the Queen. Get out of her reach.

"Excuse me!?"

"Let them go."

The girl looked at him in confusion. She thought for a moment before she realized who he meant. "No."

"Please, they're not monsters. I know that's what you humans think of them," he whispered. He didn't want to beg, but he had to try something. He couldn't die peacefully knowing he hadn't even tried to save the dragons. She probably hadn't heard him because he hadn't gotten any response.

He felt like he was going crazy. He would listen to the voices for a while longer and he would go mad. Listen any longer and he'll never come out of the depths of madness. Listen any longer and he'll join them.

He dropped his tail and pressed his ears to his head. Nothing has changed. The voices were too loud, too omnipresent. He didn't want to set the dragons free because of them. It was for his own selfish reasons. He didn't want to listen to them anymore. 

"P-please. Can't you hear them?"

"Who are you?"

Hiccup sighed. There it was again, the questioning. Questioning things he couldn't or wouldn't answer. He remained silent, lowering his gaze to the ground. The dragons' voices seemed to have died down in the distace.

The girl watched him, waiting for an answer.

"Why?" he wondered.

"I want to know what you are before I kill you. I honestly didn't expect you to be able to talk."

She wanted to kill him. 

He didn't want to die.

"I-I always have." He didn't want to die yet. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare, hug Toothless and breathe a sigh of relief. Everything would be all right. Fortunately, it would be over quickly. Not like before. With the Hunters.

The memories overwhelmed his mind, and for a moment all he could see was a chaos of confused images before his eyes. It wasn't until her voice broke him out of his trance.

"Always? How always?" She asked.

Hiccup just shrugged. He really didn't know. He could talk after his transformation, so he must have learned it while living with his family. When he was still human. When he was still living with those cruel humans.

Now that he was talking to her, he relaxed a little. He could learn something. Find out what position he was in, where he was.

"Do you have a name?"

Hiccup didn't know what to say. Should he confide his name to her? Was it safe? But still, death awaited him, and very soon. Why keep any secrets? Now that he had a chance to talk to a human, he wanted to take it. He'd never spoken to one before, unless he counted the few words he'd exchanged with hunters - mostly curses. He was... curious.

"H-Hiccup," he whispered almost inaudibly. Now that he had death on his mind he wanted to at least have a little conversation with someone other than dragons. He felt like at least confiding his secrets to someone. He did have Toothless, but that was different. The Night Fury couldn't understand his worries, not completely.

"I'm Astrid." The girl frowned at him. "Hiccup? That name... it's really familiar..." She mused, but finally just shook her head. "What were you doing here with the dragons? Why are you attacking?"

"I... I don't know why. I don't remember."

Astrid stood up and walked over to him. Hiccup pulled his wings closer to his body, though he was completely hidden in them, he didn't feel safe. Shelter in his wings couldn't give him a feeling of safety. He crouched further in the corner and looked away. The fragile peace inside him was replaced by panic. So many times he'd been in similar situations... He didn't want it to happen again. He just didn't.

He thought it was safe to speak with her. What else would that feeling mean? The feeling of familiarity. He felt like no danger was coming - not from the girl.

He braced himself for a kick, a blow from her fist or the blunt side of an axe. Anything that might come. But he didn't prepare for what really came.

"I trust you. I don't know why, but something inside tells me I should."