Love & Its Consequences

War

There are always wars to be waged. Win or lose, you will be forced to fight in many wars throughout your life. War is life. War is life and war is death, war is everything bad and everything worth redemption, and everything is worth redemption.

I've lost this war. That's okay. I can accept loss only because I know that endless success is impossible. I wish I could talk to Gabe again, the real one, and let them know that I have lost this petty war. That I can't protect their best friend anymore. That I'm a pathetic failure.

But though I'm a pathetic failure, you're a stalker and a freak. You're even more pathetic than I. My only goal was to help you both.

I don't care anymore. I have much more important things to worry about than petty battles with somebody like you. Be it you or Aaron, I will lose. Because constant success is impossible. I can accept that. I can move on. I have more important things to worry about. I need to keep my family safe. I need to protect my girlfriend. I need to keep the house clean. I need to hold everything up, I need to work hard and uplift everybody that I have chosen and selected to keep in my life.

I wanted Vince to be one of those people. I wanted to uplift them, but I've lost this war, so clearly it wasn't meant to be. Nevermind all the sacrifices I've made. It doesn't matter anymore. It's all in the past now.

I have to work harder than I've ever worked. I will succeed this time. I will win this war that I have to fight. I will win this war because I need to. I will win this war because I love my family. I can't spend my time missing somebody who never placed true value over my life in the first place.

I had a sneaking suspicion for a long time that they would choose you. Not because you're good to him or because you've helped them but because you fuck him. You fuck them and you feed their hypersexuality in a way that I would never. That was all that ever mattered to Vince. I don't have to worry about it anymore, though.

I'm putting you both out of my mind now, and I'm honing my focus onto my true goal. I need to protect my family right now. So I will.

My mind, my body and my soul are filled with love, and with love so too comes strength. I have all that I need to win this war, to win through every battle that I will be faced with. I am fully equipped with love that you could never imagine. Pure and unconditional love. I have so much love that I will never think a bitter thought of either of you or even Aaron ever again. I have enough love within me to face anything that I must. I love because I love love. I have enough love that success is already in my sights. I just need fate to guide me there.

It's 4:44AM. Goodnight.