Heartless

28

I went back to my room after the storm, and that's the one thing I hate. The silence after a storm.

I heard the twins talking earlier to Tamaki about how they want to find out Haruhi's and my fears, and well, hopefully they don't come in here tonight.

Sedatephobia. The fear of silence.

Now, I flinch when there's a loud sound, that I know, but I'm not scared of them. But silence, that's the scariest thing on Earth to me.

I always need there to be noise in a room, because when there isn't, I start to listen to the sounds and voices in my head, and they say the scariest things ever.

How do I solve this problem? I sing. I sing to myself. I can't play music cos there's people sleeping, and I can't talk to myself or I might say something one of the voices in my head wants me to say. So I'll softly sing to myself.

I got through a few Disney songs, and was finishing up one now. "Tomorrow night, the lights will appear. Just as they do on my birthday each year. What is it like, out there where they glow? Now that I'm older, mother might just, let me go..." There was a loud knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked as I got up to answer. "It's Hikaru. Can you just keep quiet and go to sleep or something? Why are you even up this late?" He sighed, and I opened the door.

"Sorry, can't sleep. Got bored." I shrugged with a small smile. "So you sing Disney songs in English?" "Yeah..." I bit my lip. "You're really weird, you know that right?" He smiled at me. "It's been said." I hummed. It was soon quiet again, so I was uncomfortable.

"Hey, are you okay? You look really stressed." He suddenly asked. "What? No, I'm fine." I shook my head. "No you're not. Tell me what's wrong." He said, stepping in and closing the door.

"Nothing, Hikaru, I told you I'm fine." I shrugged. "You say that, but I can tell you're lying. C'mon, please tell me." He said and I sighed. "I...can't." "Why not?" "Cos you'll laugh at me!" I said, turning away from him.

"No please? I promise I won't laugh or judge or anything." He said and I sighed. "It's... It's about what you and Kaoru were talking about earlier. About finding out what mine and Haruhi's fears are?" I said and he nodded. "Yeah? What about it?" He shrugged.

"Well...." I couldn't say it. I just looked down at my nails, picking at them. "Dany, are you afraid of something in this room?" He came over to me, holding my arms and asking. "Well... It's not here now!" I huffed.

"Just tell me." He said. "It's... Silence. I- I'm afraid of silence." I admitted, hanging my head. "That's why you were singing? To get rid of the silence?" He asked and I nodded.

"I usually play music at night to get rid of it, but there are other people sleeping, and I forgot my earbuds at home." I said. "Wait here." He said, leaving my room and coming back thirty seconds later with his headphones.

He took my hand and lied me down on the bed, plugging them up and going to my music files. "Try to get some sleep, please." He said and I nodded. He pressed play and one of my favourite songs filled my ears. He turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand and mouthed a word. "Stay."

He nodded and crawled into bed with me, both of us falling asleep quickly.