𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 | 𝐦.𝐬.

16. july 9th

july 9th

1:58 am

matt heard two knocks on his bedroom door.

"come in," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

he heard the doorknob click and turn. lana entered. she sat at the foot of his bed and took her tote bag off of her shoulder. she reached in and grabbed a worn brown leather book.

her sketchbook.

she put the book in matt's lap and didn't say a word. matt looked up at her, confused. lana nodded, silently telling him that he could open it.

matt held the book in his hands. he flipped to the first page and a folded sheet of paper fell out. he unfolded it.

it was the tiger painting from second grade.

matt smiled to himself, then flipped to the second page. 

then the third.

then the fourth.

then the fifth.

with every passing page the drawings lost their color. the strokes became angrier and darker. some pages had words on them; horrible words that matt would never dare to utter. matt traced the grooves on the page, caused by the harsh indent of the pen. his fingers trembled as he turned the page. the art was like a crime scene; the pain caused so much awe and he couldn't look away. 

matt closed the sketchbook, resealing all the secrets hidden inside.

he looked up at lana with devastated eyes and wrapped his arms around her. he held her closer and tighter than he ever did before.

"lana," he whispered softly.

"i'm okay, matt. i'm okay." lana reassured. she left his arms and grabbed the sketchbook.

"you didn't see the best part," she continued. matt watched her flip to the last page and hand it to him.

matt looked at the page. it was like he was looking in the mirror. it was his face. every stroke and line was meticulously placed to match each detail of his face. lana flipped the page, and the back was filled with writing. the words were packed together.

his smile

his laugh

when he pretends to know the words to a song

when he takes me on late night drives

his eyes

matt looked up at lana. she looked down, trying to hide her now-rosy cheeks.

"it's everything i love about you. i ran out of room so there's some overlapping but-"

"lana...i-"

"no, wait. i need to say something. first of all, chris only looked in there on accident. we never had anything romantic going on. and second of all, i'm so sorry for what happened earlier. i just, i lashed out on you because...i just got mad for no reason at all..."

matt wiped lana's tears. "hey, it's okay."

"matt, i'm leaving," lana sobbed.

matt's heart sank. "what? when?"

"tomorrow...well, today actually."

lana hugged matt again, and neither of them wanted to be the first to let go. why couldn't they be like this forever? safe. in each other's arms. why did they have to heal right before their hearts would be wounded again?

"lana?"

"yes?"

"i don't care if this is dumb or cliche. can i kiss you one last time?"

they looked into each other's teary eyes before lana spoke.

"yes."

their lips met for one last time.

their lips met for one last moment.

their lips met for one last kiss.

the rest of the night was a beautiful bittersweet memory.

words were spoken, most forgotten once they were said.

there was laughter and tears and pain and fear.

every emotion was felt ten times stronger than the last.

soon the darkness of night was gone and sunlight beamed through the curtains.

matt and lana couldn't believe they stayed up all night talking. how do you stay up talking with a person you couldn't stand 24 hours ago?

matt took lana to the airport.

they tried to savor every moment but time wasn't in their favor.

a moment can't last forever.

the moments were a blur.

everything was a blur.

all matt could remember was the last thing lana said to him.

"i'll be back, matt. this isn't the end. this is only the beginning."

matt clung to these words on the drive home.

he grasped them as he went into his bedroom and locked the door behind him.

he whispered them to himself as he went into his closet and sat on the floor.

he opened a cardboard box and dug through it. he pulled out a sweatshirt.

her sweatshirt.

he clutched the fabric like he clutched every word she said.

and he cried into her sweatshirt.

he cried.

and he cried.

and he cried.

he wished lana could be in his arms right now.

he wished he could be by her side forever.

he took a piece of paper out of the box. it was the drawing. lana had given it to him before she left. he flipped it over and read the words again, trying to find any that he missed.

he found one.

everything

a/n: this isnt edited bc i procrastinate everything sorry