Quiet • Sugarhillddot

017 ˢᵘᵍᵃʳʰⁱˡˡᵈᵈᵒᵗ

CHAPTER: 17

TUESDAY, July1
9:02am, 2023

RIGHT NOW I was at what felt like one of my weakest states, I was on the bathroom floor crying and just thinking why me?

I was thinking about the addition and how hard it was to get rid of it, and about Daeshon and how he can hurt me at any point in time.

How I was losing my friends...again.

I mean I still got Renae and Bloodie, but Renae is out of town again for some internship and I won't see her again until the beginning of august.

And as for me and bloodie we haven't talked in at least three weeks, and I know it was partially my fault because I started hanging out with Notti, Dd, and Ddot but it just hurts to not have anyone to talk to.

Because i'm 100% sure Ddot hates me right now, and Notti has to fake not like me. And then we have Dd, he doesn't even know what's going on but I know he's mad at me as well.

And don't get me started on how I can't even talk to my brother, because he won't get it. He never does, like every time I try to talk to him about some deep shit he can't even communicate.

Like if I really wanted to rant all my problems with the other person not talking, then I would rant to a fucking wall.

Which is basically what i'm doing now...

The therapist said that me having mixed emotions and shit is just because i'm with drawing and if that's the case then I guess i'm doing a good job at withdrawing.

Ok let's get off of this topic because it's getting a little depressing.

So the good news is that I only have to go through four more sessions and I should be good on the withdrawal thing. I mean my therapist does recommend I come fore some more after that due to other issues, but ain't nobody got money for all that.

More good news, is I think i'm going to tell Ddot and Notti the truth. I mean I feel like I can trust them now, even though it hasn't even been over a month of knowing each other.

They still seem to be so close to me.

I had already texted Notti that I need to tell him and Ddot something. So on exactly July 3rd i'm going to tell Ddot and Notti everything.

I know it seems mad corny to set a date, but this is a lot of information i'm telling them and I need to to go through it over the days and make sure i'm 100% comfortable with telling them everything.

Because right now i'd say i'm 89% comfortable, but I know they deserve to know what they are getting there selves into by being friends with me.

I get up from the bathroom floor and start making my way downstairs to eat something, due to the fact that I haven't eaten yet today.

And just as I was about to enter the kitchen, I stop when I notice Edot and Ddot sitting on my couch. And judging by their extremely worried faces, I could tell nothing good was coming out of this conversation.

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Ddot

AT THE moment it was 7:25am, and I didn't even know why I was up at this time. Because none of my alarms went off or anything but, I couldn't stop thinking about my son Dudey.

He thinks he's fine and he won't get locked up, but he isn't even being that discreet about it. By that I mean, he would sell out in the open and shit which was very dangerous weather we were at the block or not.

And right now, it's taking everything in my power not to tell his girlfriend or kylah. Because I know both would end up bad, cause if I tell Renae she first isn't going to believe me and then she's going to put the pieces together and suddenly get very paranoid.

And I don't even know if i'd be up for telling Kylah, because not only do I not want to talk to her, I don't want to look at her, hear her, or even smell her sweet and bold scent.

Not being able to make my mind up, I call Edot because he would definitely tell me what I should do.

'Yo what's up ma heart'I speak first putting him on speaker.

'What's wrong now'He says as if I always call him for advice, which granted I do call him a lot for that reason. But that's besides the point he should be glad i'm calling him and not Roscoe. I mean Roscoe is ma heart, but his advice isn't really good.

If I asked him what I should do to ask a girl I like out, he would say 'Go up to her, look her in the eye, say you wanna fuck her, then walk away'.

'I don't know weather or not I should talk to Kylah about Dudey selling'I get up from my bed placing the phone on my dresser as I find an outfit.

'Why is that even a question, yes you should tell her'I can hear some background noise on his end but I decide to ignore it.

'But I don't know if i'm ready to talk to her, can you just do it. Without me,'I suggest while looking for my black amiri jeans.

'I personally think you guys are all being childish. I know you don't like being lied to, but im sure she had a good reason. And plus it's not like you know her like that'I hear a door close as he lets out a low sigh.

'Alright fine, but you gon come with me right?'I question in hope that I wouldn't have to face such an awkward conversation alone.

'Yeah I got you ma heart, i'll pick you up at 12'And without another word he hangs up the phone.

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I DIDNT KNOW what to feel at the moment, all these questions kept flowing around in my head.

'Why are they here', 'How did they get in', 'Did something bad happen'

And judging by there faces all my questions were most likely about to be answered, "So can we skip the 'Hello' and 'Good morning' and get to 'Why are you guys in my house'"I walk into the kitchen to grab some strawberries, before sitting on the couch waiting for them to say something.

"It's about Dudeylo"