The story of a delusional bitch

Getting over you part2.

It was true and beautiful
I truly believe your my soulmate
But you obviously don't feel the same way.

This isn't about your mom .
You stand in front of her for an excuse to be without me .

And I know your a mommas boy but if you really loved me anywhere near as much as I love you or believed I was YOUR soulmate you would stand up to your mother, you'd wait, you would do anything to be with me . Find any way. but yet you won't .
You "can't".

No you just don't want to
Just say that

Say it with your chest
You don't want to be with me
Say it with everything in you .

Maybe then I'd stop
Maybe then I'd leave you alone fr
Maybe then jus maybe I'd stop loving you .

Fuck that doesn't even look real coming out typed .

I'll always love you.
I just have to move on if it's not what you want .

I wanted to wait for you to love me
But that's pathetic and I'm not gonna sit and cry to you and look pathetic I jus "can't"

Im mentally weak I feel all alone even with people surrounding me .

Im trying to get better for me but let's face it we both know the only reason I'm getting any better is because I have hope of being with you .

I don't plan on taking that second chance or that love for granted I don't plan on relying on you to get better nor will I rely for you to constantly run to help me and be there for my needs

I plan on using this love to my fullest advantage showing my love can be healthy too

Showing all the love I kept hidden for so long
Idk what I was so afraid of but I wish I would've just shown that i love to you .

You didn't deserve what I did to you not for a second .

And I'm sorry .

I can't take anything back
But I can fix my shit and do good for the future and do good in my future hopefully our future .

There is no excuse for me talking to another woman or the drugs I lied about and took
But I didn't think I could have something as good as what we had

Well it's not really I didn't think I could have it I didn't think I could keep it .

But I did the wrong thing I know .

I'm sorry baby please forgive me .
Accept what I've been trying to tell you believe it .

I.
LOVE .
YOU.

IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU.

From the moment I met you I wanted you .
Young adorable lil you.
I wanted you I wanted you so bad I was so jealous of the women around you

Then I grew a lil changed highly and came across you and still wanted yo ass

Every single time I've come across you I've wanted you the last time it just took me a minute to realize I didn't just find you interesting or attractive I didn't just want you I fell in love with you I genuinely wanted and want to be involved of every part of your life

I wanna hear about your dream you can barely remember what you ate what your mom had cooked or bought for dinner how work was little shit is still important .

I'm sorry I took your love for granted at times I didn't see how good I had it I was so scared of loosing it .

I have so many regrets
I don't like to admit it but I will beg
I'll get on my hands and knees like a little bitch for you and beg for what I want beg for a second chance

So I don't have to live with these regrets
I want to change your life in the best way possible
I want you to hate being apart from me
I want you to hate having to take me home from hanging out because your not ready to say goodbye .

I want you to want to do everything you can to be with me .

I feel as if you tried it would make a difference
Your not even willing to text me .
After EVERYTHING we have been through

All the blood sweat and tears YOU PUT IN
To see you just walk away it feels unreal it feels like a bad dream I'm stuck in and can't wake up from

All I wanted and all I want is to be with you I'll do anything for that .

Let me show u I've changed let me show YOU what I've done to do better to be better for me for us you deserve that you deserve to be loved by someone who really loves you .

I can't imagine talking or trying to be with someone else it would just be awkward having to go thru the talking stage the what's your favorite color I was so used to you.
And what we had .

The only thing that makes since is you were bored .
You grew apart from my love
You grew tired of my bs and had enough
But you say it's your mom .

I wanna believe you I really do baby .
But there's so much you could do differently there's sm .

You won't take a chance on me .

Like you don't think I could do it well I did .
Didn't take a year if you rlly want something you can get it .

Let me have you .
Let me appreciate you .
Massage you after your long day .
Please you.
Do anything to make you laugh your cute ass laugh

Give me that second chance.
Give me that opportunity

Let me be there for you
Lemme love you
Lemme hold your hand through every up and down because I love you.
And I will fucking forever love you .