Ship: Jakehoon
Theme: Platonic/Angst with fluff at the end.
Mentions of: Depression, Anxiety, Abuse, and Suicide Attempts.
Play the song at the top!
Jake POV:
Every time the light at the end of the tunnel shines bright, I run to it. Just for the light to be gone again. That's how life felt. As soon as something good comes your way, it disappears in an instant.
I was useless, why did god even let me become alive? I have no purpose in this world. It just doesn't make sense.
I only ever lived for one boy, a boy who doesn't even acknowledge my existence.
Park Sunghoon.
At this point, he might as well take my heart. It's already full of him.
Because I had no one else to love.
No one else loved me either.
Life was...pointless.
I decided to stop mentally moaning about how lonely and depressed I am and went to get ready. I tried my best not to look at myself while brushing my teeth. It only made me hate myself more.
I was debating on two outfits for the day. They would both look like shit on me but the real question is, which one looks more shit?
Sometimes I question why I'm even trying, I'll still get bullied either way.
I went with my gut instinct and put on one of the outfits and went downstairs. I was praying for my parents to be at work.
To my luck, they were. The new silence was comforting, but it felt wrong.
Wrong not to have beer bottles constantly thrown at me, or hit with a belt.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this?
I was debating on eating breakfast, but I chose not to.
Why am I so indecisive?
I decided to look through the fridge to check if I needed to go shopping after school, but I was surprised to find a note stuck to the front.
'Me and your mother are going on a vacation for a couple of months to try again. Don't fucking think of trying to contact us, unless you want to get a beating when we get back'.
I ripped up the note and threw it into the bin. Do they really expect me to be able to survive by myself, and so suddenly as well?
They forbid me from getting a job, yet they expect me to have money for food, water, and to pay bills. Unbelievable
Absolutely unbelievable.
I simply just packed my bag and started walking to school.
I knew what was going to happen.
It's like I repeated the same day, over and over again, until I was fazed.
I think I may have finally reached my breaking point though.
Do I want to let them win? No. But, can I keep up with this? Also no.
Time will tell.
.
