love (taylor's version)

part 1: taylor swift (debut)

When I had met my boyfriend, Drew, I thought I had finally found my place in this world. He was perfect. He made me laugh, and smile, and he was the only person I ever felt like myself around. "I'm only me when I'm with you." I would say to him, when we were alone.

"I'm honored to be that person for you Mary." Our cheeks would flush and it all felt perfect. Everytime we would hang out, we would listen to Tim McGraw. He was Drew's favorite musician, and he would even dedicate songs for us. "Our Song is My Best Friend. And your song (Mary's Song), is Humble and Kind." Right then and there, I melted. He had such a perfectly good heart. Or so I thought.

A couple months after we had started dating, out of the blue, he wrote me a break up letter. He didn't even have the balls to break up with me in real life. The worst part is it was short, with minimal words. He clearly just lost interest and it was nothing but a fling to him. To me, he was so much more. The letter went a little something like this.

Dear Mary,
Before I say anything, I want to preface this by saying I still deeply care for you. You were an amazing partner and I had some of the best months of my life with you. But, that was not enough. I have begun to lose interest, romantically. I want to say that we were tied together with a smile, but now we're coming undone. Towards the end of our relationship I felt like rather than being inside your heart like you said I was, I was on the outside. Maybe one day we can reconnect, but I do not feel a spark anymore.
Stay Beautiful,
Drew.

The second I read that, I dropped to the ground. I cried, and cried. It was an endless sadness, there were even teardrops on my guitar. I loved him, so much. He was the perfect man.

Lucky for me (😒), he broke up with me right before school started. He was one of the most popular guys in school. Before we were anything, I was just a nerd. No one noticed me. When we were together, I rose up steps in my social status. Everyone seemed to like me when I was with him. Now that we ended things, I was back to being invisible.

Stupid me tried to get him back shortly after we had broken up. I biked in the rain to his door, I was so desperate to see him. I pounded on his door, for what felt like ages. Eventually he opened the door. "Mary?" he asked.

"Drew. Hi. Look, I just wanted to say that I want you back. I know we just broke up, but I miss you more than anything. You were and are the light in my life."

He tried to interrupt me there, but I stopped him and kept talking. "Listen, if you do end up considering this, I want to get one thing out of the way. I know how you said that you didn't feel like my other half anymore. There is a reason why. I just couldn't tell you. It was a mistake." I took a deep breath and went on.

"I cheated on you. With Josh. I know. I know. It was possibly the worst mistake of my life. We were both drunk out of our minds, and you and me were in a rough bit, remember that? We only kissed, but that was way too much. I should've said no. I wish I did. If I could turn back time and get rid of my mistake. I would." All of my words speed out of my mouth like a getaway car.

He stared at me blankly for who knows how long. He then said, "I know." My mouth hung open. He read my face and said, "Did you think I wouldn't find out? Josh is my little fucking brother."

At that point tears were streaming down my face, but he kept going. He said very little but his words were powerful. "You know how much he means to me, Mary. And you know I love you. And you still did it. I've never met anyone cold as you." In that moment he went back inside and left me alone with his words to reflect. They cut deep. I bawled my eyes out until I had enough courage to go home.

School had already started by that point, so rumor spread fast. 'Did you hear she slept with his brother?' 'I heard she did two guys at once.' Their words hurt, even though me and some others knew they were true.

Weeks passed and I finally tried getting rid of things that reminded me of him. A picture to burn, another picture, and another. I had stacks of polaroids and prints and drawings and notes that all were burnt by the end of the day. Eventually, I came to peace with losing Drew. Although he was my first love and we broke eachothers hearts, he taught me a lesson. It was all the pain I had in my heart. Still however, I regret letting him go. He was truly the one that got away.

895 words, hope you enjoyed ❤️