Random Poems!

I lie awake at night

I wrote this when I was helping my oldest sister with her three kids. It was mid Covid so I was helping all three of them with school/ babysitting them too. Her kids were in elementary, middle school, and high school.  I was watching my one year old nephew (my other sisters kid). I was working at the hotel as any position they needed (in a non dirty way!) I was also 17 at the time so I was finishing school too. I really wanted to help them out but I was stressed out!

I lie awake at night 

with only my anxiety to keep me company.

you see, I became a parent, without actually being one.

I cant tell if I'm being punished or praised. 

A thousand different roles I feel like I could claim! 

I am stressed but

I cant be mad

I can't be sad

Because in the end, 

I'm the one that asked for each and every role I now play.

and I would ask again. 

He calls me mama so I must rise up to the name!  

For his sake or mine? I don't know

I was her helper and his babysitter 

to online school I'd go

an employee. 

a teenager who needs to be social 

or she'd lose her friends 

I love my life

I really do!

  I'm still going to cry 

Because that's what I do

I cry because I'm scared, angry, stressed, happy, overwhelmed, and more

but as soon as I wipe my face dry, 

I go for it

I take a step

because that's who I am! 

A girl who lies awake at night

full of anxiety.