The love that disappeared like a feather

Bad or good March & April?

March didn't start well.. From 6th March I was going skiing with my dad. It sounds so good, but as I said my relationship with my dad wasn't good at all. I hated him and I was scared, If he will beat me up like my ..., that was my first thing I was scared of. The second was that he will get so drunk that he will r... me. I didn't trust him after all what he did in my life and my childhood that he ruined and having so much traumas from the childhood. After all it was okay until Thursday came. That day it was raining all day and we decided not to go skiing. He slept all day and I was starving all day. Only thing I ate was candy to cover the hunger. Atleast we were going on dinner that day. On Friday we were going home and I got my peri.. and I didn't have any pills so I was in pain all the time. We arrived to my town and I told him that I'm not hungry, if he could drop me off home and then go eat alone, because I'm not hungry at all (I don't have appetite these days). He didn't listen to me and we were going on a lunch first. I didn't eat anything and was craving to go finally home and rest. After the lunch he dropped me of and was mad at me that I was frustrated all day. But what did he expect?!

On 12th March is my birthday and because I wished him happy birthday that I thought he will atleast text me "Happy b-day". But nothing. I started thinking about him again and the only thing I wished was to meet him in real life. On March 17th I texted him a paragraph and because we were in the same group, the same group I created, I left and gave him Admin and that he owns the server now. I left because I didn't want an answer, because in the half of the paragraph there was a sentence that I didn't know how he will react to it. The sentence was that I still have feelings for him, but before I left the group I looked on the conversation and saw that he has girlfriend that he's already dating 4 months. He said that he thinks that they will break up soon. I was happy for him that he found somebody else, who is better than me:). In the second thought it was killing me. He moved on so fast and I'm still stuck here. Having feelings for him. WHY CANT I GET RID OF THEM?! That time I didn't believe love is real, and I still don't. At 2 or 3 am I sended the message and left the group. I knew he will read it soon, but not that soon. After a day a friend request came on discord. I knew he liked Sonic and he was on the profile pic. Even the name was weird. "urmymoonlight" I didn't know what to think about it and leave the name how is it. I accepted and I knew it was him. After a while he sended me a screenshot of his paragraph to my text. No there wasn't that he has feelings for me too, there was a message that he doesn't mind that I have feelings for him. I was happy that we texted again. We texted some and some days again and I was getting obsessed again.

In April nothing much happened. Only thing that happened that he added me on Snapchat and when I was "mad" at him he said "bae". AHH I WAS RED LIKE A TOMATO! We talked like we were together again and I loved it. Fast answers, sweet sentences and pick up lines. Sadly we called only once but I didn't mind it. Because we texted again and I couldn't believe it!🤭 I knew he was my soulmate and I still think it.