There's a hole in my heart nobody can see

It might sting, but just surrender forever

   After a surprisingly nice lunch and shopping downtown with Spencer, we were going somewhere he wanted to take me. To my surprise, and confusion, we were back at Red Rocks. I shot him a confused look. "What are we doing here?"

   "I have a couple of acoustic songs I want to play, but I need someone to listen to them first." He said with a hopeful, but nervous voice.

   "And I was the chosen one why? " I asked curiously.

   "I wanted someone else to hear it first other than the band." He explained as we got out of the car and headed for the stage.

  First he did Stabbing in the Dark and then he did A Grave Mistake, my favorite, both acoustically. His voice really is something else. "That was real good. Those fans are in for a treat for sure."  I smiled.

   "Would it be weird if I gave you and Chris the night off to be in the crowd on the next show?" He asked, a little nervous.

   Are you sure you don't need the extra help?" I questioned him. What is this man up to?

   "We have plenty." He stepped closer to me. I got a little nervous. I still want to hate this man with everything I have, but the attraction has never gone away. It's so easy to slip into a trance when he looks directly into my eyes. "You deserve a night of fun." He whispered as he slowly leaned in with his hands basically on my shoulders.

   His physical touch brought little shivers down my spine and I think he noticed. It brings feelings back up, then washed away by the painful ones. Snapping out of my trance he suggested we should be getting back.

   I am in trouble.

   After a long rest of the weekend, it was finally a show day. Spencer told me not to work today, just relax. Something about wanting Chris and I to enjoy ourselves in the group. Honestly, I could get use to to that.

  "Hey guys. We are going to strip it down for a few songs if you don't mind." Spencer excitedly announced into the mic. Of course the fans went crazy. Just like I heard earlier, they performed Stabbing In The Dark and A Grave Mistake. However they weren't done there.

    "Wise men say only fools rush in" Spencer started off the song.

I didn't even know they were going to cover this. "But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?" At this very line he made contact with me. "If I can't help falling in love with you"

His voice sounded angelic and really got me. I couldn't help but think, is this why he wanted me in the crowd? I had tears in my eyes because this is the first time I am admitting that I want to let Spencer back in. I never wanted to be without him in the first place. I want to get past what he did. I just don't know how. Spencer definitely saw tears welded up in my eyes. I had to get out of here after this song, as I knew there were only a few songs left.

   I did head back to the bus and avoided any kind of human interaction on my way. I just wanted to curl up in a ball. I wanted to go to sleep before any of the guys and especially Spencer came back. I was almost asleep when I heard them all, so I pretended to be passed out. Before I knew it I felt hands snake around my waist and push me over so they could lie next to me. Of course it was Spencer. I couldn't do anything but cry, I just didn't know how to feel, what to do. This was all so strange. "Shhh. I've got you." is all he said and played with my hair util I calmed down. I felt a kiss on the top of my head as I drifted off to sleep.

   I woke up with Spencer still sleeping next to me and honestly, I didn't want him to go. Nothing to worry about other than us just lying here together, not a single thought of the past. I'd rather deal with the consequences later. I faced him and shuffled more into his arms which caused him to pull me in a little tighter. His eyes flutter open and met mine and he brushed some hairs out of my face. "Good morning, sunshine." He smiled. Damn..I didn't think he could be any better looking but here I am with proof that he can be.

"Morning." I grumbled with a half smile. Mornings are not my thing, and coffee is a must.

"Well aren't we just cranky this morning." He teased.

"Coffee." I muttered. I needed to get up and make coffee and wrap my head around this.

"I've got it, you stay here." He said happily.

"Spenc-er" Before I even finished saying his name he was gone setting up the coffee pot, and racing back over to hand me a cup. "Thank you. "Hey Spence?" Still terrified of where this was going I wanted to ask, but as soon as his gaze met mine, I had no clue what I was going to say. I could tell he could see the fear in my eyes.

   "Did you want me in the crowd so you could serenade me with Elvis Presley?" I asked point blank.

   He let out a little laugh and rested his face against mine. "Very possible."

Is Spencer actually in love with me?