Poems by me.

Before I met You.

I miss the girl I was before I met you. The one who'd cry over stupid fan fictions but feel good about it. The girl who could write for hours without getting bored. The girl that, no matter how late of a reply you gave her, she'd respond in an instant because what else did she have that was so important? The innocent, pure hearted girl who knew nothing of this pain. 

I miss the girl I was when I was with you. The happy, kind one. The girl who'd smile while staring into space just because... well just because she had you. The one who could stand up for her friends and everything she believed in because it was the right thing to do. The girl who was awkward but so brave. The girl I'll never be again.

I hate the girl I am now. Crying for days in a row, grieving constantly, rotting away in my own bed, the one we used to share. I constantly stare at the walls and empty spaces that you used to fill, wishing and hoping you'd come back. Dreaming of ways I could've saved this from being our fate.

I hate this girl because she is everything the girl I was before you never wanted to be. The girl of my nightmares. While you're out partying living your best life with friends who you can trust, I am stuck in my room, ghosts of my past constantly haunting me, turning sweet beautiful dreams into horrible nightmares.

Yeah, I miss the girl I was before I met you, pure and kind and funny and innocent as she could be. You destroyed that girl but turned the blame on her. It was her fault for everything, isn't it. I miss the girl I was before I met you. I wish I could bring her back. But I can't.

She's dead.